Forget FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)—Create Future Identity Desire Instead

Marketers love to leverage FOMO—the fear of missing out—to drive sales.

But if you’re still relying on the innate human fear of missing a deal, a bonus, or an early access to new content to get conversions, you’re leaving serious money on the table.

Because while FOMO creates urgency, it doesn’t always create commitment.

If you want buyers who stick, spend more, and show up ready to work, here’s the shift:

Stop selling with fear. Start selling with identity.

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Why FOMO Isn’t Enough Anymore

Yes, FOMO works. It’s a psychological phenomenon where people feel pressure to act because they believe they’ll miss out on something—whether it’s something valuable or exciting, or just not being part of a social group.

And yes, marketers can create urgency with tactics like:

  • Limited time offers

  • Posting on social with countdowns

  • Showing how many people are currently viewing the page

  • Highlighting select group of customers getting “something extra

  • And setting a specific time frame to create a sense of urgency


These tactics are
commonly used in e-commerce, and they work—attendees rush to secure spots. Events can generate action. Live events, live streams, and updates on social media all contribute to that sense of scarcity and urgency.

But here’s the truth most marketers don’t want to admit:

FOMO is shallow. It creates transactions. Not transformation.

The Problem with Leading with FOMO

You’ve seen it:

  • Followers may feel compelled to buy just because influencers or industry experts can amplify FOMO

  • People tend to follow the crowd due to social validation

  • And your social media posts shout “time is running out!”


But after the offer? They ghost. They refund. They bail.

Why? Because FOMO fades fast.

It’s built on anxiety and pressure—not alignment or purpose.

In fact, overusing FOMO can even contribute to FOMO-driven stress and anxiety, digital addiction, and long-term burnout in your audience. It fuels internet addiction, not loyalty.

If you want buyers who stick around—who aren’t just chasing the dopamine hit of the next VIP membership program or limited offer—you need something deeper.

From FOMO to Future Identity Desire

Here’s where the real gold is:

Sell them who they become when they buy.
Sell the future version of themselves—not just access, urgency, or “fear missing out.”

When you create a perception of future identity transformation, you don’t have to instill a fear of missing. You build desire. Vision. Pull.

That’s what creates long-term brand advocates—buyers who don’t just buy to avoid missing out, but who buy because they see themselves as someone who belongs there.

That’s what makes them feel special and part of something.

How to Create Future Identity Desire Instead

Here’s how to shift your FOMO and drive deeper conversions:

1. Use Social Proof Ethically

Yes—use social proof. But not just to say “many people are currently viewing.”

Instead, show experiences with your product, results, and transformation. Show what the positive experience looks like—not just what they’ll miss.

2. Create Exclusivity Without Panic

Want to create a sense of exclusivity? Position it as alignment, not pressure.

Instead of “Only 5 spots left!”, try:
“This is for the person who’s ready to become their next-level self.”

3. Elevate With Future Identity Messaging

Forget “limited time offer” on its own. Pair it with future-casting:
“What if 90 days from now, you look back and this was the decision that changed everything?”

Create urgency through future alignment, not fear.

4. Emphasize What They Step Into, Not What They Miss

When someone joins, make sure your social media use isn’t just counting down timers.
Show what it feels like to be in the room. To join. To win.

This way, your social media presence becomes aspirational—not stressful.

The Better Way to Trigger Action

Yes, you can trigger FOMO.
You can generate FOMO with timers, bonuses, and flash deals.

But if you want to convert the people who buy again and again, here’s the better framework:

  • Lead with transformation

  • Reinforce with social proof

  • Close with aligned urgency

  • And deliver something unique that speaks to identity


People who have already taken action
didn’t just fear a missed deadline. They saw a future self they wanted.

That’s what sticks.

Create Desire, Not Just Fear

The digital age has taught us to click fast and buy faster. But long-term businesses aren’t built on FOMO alone.

They’re built on alignment, identity, and aspiration.

So yes—use FOMO. But use it wisely. Used ethically and transparently, it can drive results.

But if you want real growth?
Create future identity desire.
Make them feel pulled toward who they’re becoming—not just pushed by what they might lose.

That’s how you build loyalty, community, and next-level conversion.

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"I thought our webinar was great... and then Steve showed me a few small tweaks that I had never seen before. His advice added several percentage points to our close rate instantly"
Alina Vincent
Founder of Business Success Edge
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CEO of Jaxx Productions
“Steve' coaching just literally changed everything for my upcoming Live Event!! I was a little nervous about how to structure it and fill it... Yikes. But Steve took my topics, broke down how each session should flow, the best times to talk about my big offer, as well as gave the BEST tips on how I could show up and deliver maximum value to the attendees! And then he gave me a specific strategy on how to FILL it! like...what? Thank you Steve Werner I'm going in confident to my live event ready to rock it!"
Eileen Wilder
Author & Business Coach
"That guy just exposed me 😱 I hired Steve Werner to help us execute our live event properly and he hit me with so many questions and ideas that would have been humiliating to learn the hard way and leave 100k+ on the table.

If you are holding a live event it is a disservice to your audience and bad business to not have a call with Steve first."
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Founder at LeadBaller
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As an MC he kept the energy up and helped maximize sales
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CEO at Raising Capital | Raise Masters
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He helped me talk about my business in a way that attracted my ideal clients and allowed me to raise my prices...totally changing my business for the better.”
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Spiritual Teacher and Energy Healer
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CEO & Founder at Power-Up Your Follow-Up

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“You helped us make our language more natural and approachable—so it felt like a real conversation, not a script, and changed our conversion to over 50%.”

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I tried webinars 3 other times and never was successful. You showed me how to craft a webinar that was authentic and felt good, and consistently closed 13%+ leading to my best year in business.

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Steve showed me 2 secrets that worked and kept my audience engaged and eager for more. He also helped me refine my webinar flow—removing the pressure while keeping people watching till the end and closing more sales!”

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“Steve gave me clear frameworks that removed the guesswork. I thought I knew events, but running my own was different. He showed me the right levers to pull, leading to an 8x growth rate and millions in sales from our event.

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“Steve makes offers persuasive and undeniable to the right people. He helped me set boundaries, avoid low-commitment buyers, and focus on those who truly benefit. Now, I barely have to sell—people are eager to buy.

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"I've hired Steve to help us with our online presentations and have seen him teach this same content on stage at 2 conferences I was speaking at. He's very knowledgeable, practical and actionable to get people moving from passion to profits quickly - highly recommended!"
Michael D. Butler
CEO at Beyond Book Publishing
Top Notch!

"Steve Werner is one of the most brilliant marketers I know. If you want to master the game of selling, definitely work with Steve. Highly recommend!"
Mark Stern
CEO at Custom Box Agency
Steve Werner brings value!

"I have listened to Steve speak on a few occasions. I always look forward to his session because he brings immense value. He is a great storyteller too. So not only is he keeping our attention with stories, he ties that in with value where we can walk away with something that can benefit our business."
Harry Spaight
Founder at Selling With Dignity
Tons of Value!

"Working with Steve has been such a positive experience. Besides just being an all around good guy who is invested in helping you succeed, he brings wealth of research and experience to helping you shape your story and expand your sales. After being disappointed by many who promise value but don't quite deliver, working with Steve was such a breath of fresh air."
Erin Arnold
PT, MPT, LMT
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Maria Rodriguez
Owner of Girl Code Fitness & Nutrition
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"Have you ever met a person and think to yourself, "That man is doing EXACTLY what he was meant to do for this world!" When it comes to sharing of his gifts and helping others share theirs through the gift of story-telling, Steve is the best there is. Steve paid a visit to my Wealth Minded Mastermind and shared his brilliance. He enabled us all to serve our various tribes in even greater ways by finding OUR authentic story. We all have one right?! God bless you Steve and thanks again!"
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Psychic Medium, Spiritual Teacher & Bestselling Author
Do whatever you can to get to Steve's events!

"Steve's events are like no other I've attended. They are personal, interactive and loaded with actual, behind the scenes stories combined with step-by-step instruction applied to attendee's business.

Somehow he manages to keep the details of each his attendee's businesses in his head and offers real-time examples of how to apply each concept... and his speakers! ... teach, so you come away feeling like you have something you can put into action right away. His care and integrity are apparent. If you are interested in reaching more people and accelerating the growth of your business... Do whatever you can to make it to one (or many) of his events. You will not regret!"
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Amazing speaker

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CEO Merge Worldwide
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