Shira Lazar Podcast: How To Create Your Own Path as A Influencer

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Steve Werner

Steve Werner

Keynote Speaker, Author, 170+ Monetization, Conversion, and One to Many Sales Presentations Worldwide.

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Steve Werner: Go.

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Steve Werner: Welcome back to grow your impact income and influence the number one show for monetization and fun on the Internet, my name is Steve wariner today I am joined by cheryl Azhar shira.

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Steve Werner: Is a media entrepreneur she has a what’s trending now on YouTube she also has an amazing instagram and a ton of followers she’s super fun she’s from California we’ve had a couple conversations off camera I am so glad that you are here.

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shiralazar: How you doing today, having me what.

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Steve Werner: How are you doing today.

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shiralazar: Good I live in California now, but I am Canadian shout out to the Canadians out there.

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Steve Werner: The Canadians are always friendly, what do you like beer.

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shiralazar: I was not ever into the I was never be a period person now i’m a Michelle on a person and i’ll do maybe one beer.

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Steve Werner: Maybe one all right, do you like hockey.

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shiralazar: I also because I was more of an artsy person growing up my family never got me into all the things they’re supposed to get me into.

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shiralazar: To be a proud Canadian.

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Steve Werner: we’ll leave that for a.

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Steve Werner: Second, I want to know.

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Steve Werner: How you became a media entrepreneur, because that is so many people have tried to break through into the quote like influencer space whatever you want to call it.

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Steve Werner: um and you have done an amazing job but you’ve done it a little bit differently than most people you do it through interviewing other people and building.

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Steve Werner: out all the other people around you and, through that they’ve lifted you up that’s what i’ve seen anyway, I would love to talk a little bit more about that um i’ll let you take it from there.

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shiralazar: yeah yeah so um I started out, and I still am, like my my foundational passion is broadcasting hosting and interviewing.

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shiralazar: and different forms of storytelling depending on the platform and it It made me become an entrepreneur when I started out, you know, I was.

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shiralazar: Wanting to be a host on traditional platforms obviously back in the day was either you go to local news stations or you get a job at MTV or E, which was there wasn’t a lot of options there and.

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shiralazar: So, as I started to move my way up.

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shiralazar: In the hosting entertainment world here I started seeing there was a gap, there was an opportunity with digital I was meeting a lot of people that started websites, they were needing video.

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shiralazar: And because I just wanted to practice my craft I started working with a lot of those sites well what I thought was a stepping stone ended up becoming the thing right the niche niche.

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shiralazar: And so I through my practice of practicing what I loved it ended up moving me into.

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shiralazar: What would become my career, which is always interesting right, which is why I always say like trust the path and it’s always in hindsight that you can trust.

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shiralazar: But as you continue you get to create that trust, as you as you’re going versus when you look back.

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shiralazar: But I then you know, after a few years of hosting here in Los Angeles, and where he went to different companies websites yahoo.com varieties and had their digital property hollywood.com wireman calm, like so many COPs.

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shiralazar: I I saw an opportunity to start interviewing people with my phone, and this is even before the iPhone came around and, as I was doing that myself.

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shiralazar: I started pitching it to news networks or sites new sites and I ended up settling on CBS news COM or getting a meeting with.

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shiralazar: The head of CBS news COM and, at the time there wasn’t a.

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shiralazar: Job available, but I was just like let me do this, you don’t need to pay me a lot just give me the opportunity to do it like i’ll give you free content I have access to celebrities and all that, why not.

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shiralazar: it’s a win, win for everyone, and so you know from there that’s really where what’s trending my current company came to be where.

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shiralazar: I started to see the growth of the viral video star the social media star it wasn’t even an influencer at that point for me, I felt like I saw their influence.

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shiralazar: There was picked up from a lot of blogs and they’d be maybe on talk shows or Ellen a few weeks later, or a few months later, like any human interest story.

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shiralazar: But I saw the gap where they weren’t being interviewed right away on video, so I started interviewing them right away on video getting the exclusive before like.

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shiralazar: The major networks and then, when you would search their video mine would come up to.

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shiralazar: And so, with that I realized okay there’s a thing here and that’s when what’s trending came to be where I was like Okay, I think i’m finally ready to make this into a show where it’s like for the Internet by the Internet.

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shiralazar: And after that launched in May of 2011 and we got a lot of attention, for what we were doing, because we were the first at the time with a major news network I got very publicly tired.

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shiralazar: And at that point that’s when I became an entrepreneur because I I I got fired from CBS news I mean they really they let go of what’s trending this party ways of what’s trending but I was very much attached to it, it was what’s trending with cheryl Azhar.

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shiralazar: So, as my name that’s what you get for adding your name to a title.

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shiralazar: But you know at that time we had a bit of money left in the Bank, and you know we went even to mark Cuban and we were like help us.

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shiralazar: And he’s like well do you believe in what you’re doing i’m like yeah i’ve worked with we weren’t doing this someone else would be creating this right now.

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shiralazar: And so, he said to me, so you continue, are you telling me you can’t like.

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shiralazar: figure out how to raise 50 K or a DK and he’s like i’ll give you a spot on hd net, which was his network, but like i’m not paying you for this right now, because.

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shiralazar: it’s just not what i’m looking for, but I want to support you, but that was the support the tough love was the support.

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shiralazar: And we hunker down and it went from being a show, and I was a host and a talent to kind of learning the ways of entrepreneurship and building out my own company.

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shiralazar: Which ones can start as a show and then since then over the past decade we’ve been around for a decade we’ve become more of a publisher we had an agency sides what we’re doing for a bit you know, working with fortune 500 companies.

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shiralazar: You know, hiring influencers to do stuff and create content and social and so we’ve we’ve seen the waves of the Internet and social media, the highs and lows.

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Steve Werner: So there is a ton.

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shiralazar: In sorry that was a rant and I know you told me not to go on a rant but like that story once you get started i’m like okay I just need a I don’t.

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shiralazar: know.

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Steve Werner: I don’t think anybody thought that was a rant I want to unpack some of it, though um.

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Steve Werner: The first thing I want to unpack is you, you started with your phone in 2009 2008.

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Steve Werner: Like way back before like maybe the very.

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shiralazar: Mon yeah.

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Steve Werner: Maybe maybe a BlackBerry.

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Steve Werner: But you started with your phone.

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Steve Werner: And Nokia you started with your phone.

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Steve Werner: And you just started doing it so many people I think today, I met so many people like quote like entrepreneurs right I love Gary vee i’m you have to pay me, though, you have to pay me I want 100 K, I want to 80 K just even get started.

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Steve Werner: Well, show me that you’re doing it like the thing I love about Gary vee story, because anyone who tells me they’re like every i’m like he did, how many episodes of wine library TV before he ever got anywhere.

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Steve Werner: You did the same thing you were like okay i’ve got this phone i’m just going to start interviewing people because.

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Steve Werner: You said something you were practicing your passion.

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Steve Werner: You were passionate about doing it, so you were like, let me just go do it.

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Steve Werner: artists who are successful creators are who are successful just go do the thing.

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Steve Werner: right they find ways to monetize it which you did but they’re passionate about going and doing what you did so I want to talk a little bit about like when you got picked up by CBS when you talk to them.

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Steve Werner: Did behind the scenes were you like doing cartwheels and backflips because they agreed to pay you a little bit of money, like how did that conversation go, how did you feel.

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shiralazar: Internally, I guess, I I knew it was a big deal, I was still doing other jobs, the time because it wasn’t a full time job.

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shiralazar: And I guess anything, this is like the story of my life, where I do things and I know that it has there’s you know what’s called something to it that people are like impressed by but i’m just kind of going and living in it so sometimes you don’t see it yourself right.

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shiralazar: And so, which it like that’s a good thing, and also bad thing, like because you get to acknowledge yourself and see where you’re at and.

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shiralazar: celebrate that in many ways, but I did see that there was something special like I did notice and also in hindsight, like.

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shiralazar: People when you say oh I work with CBS news, and I want to do an interview with you like, they will say yes, like there are certain outlets you work with and i’ve worked with all types of outlets from my own to.

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shiralazar: Others to credible ones like CBS news, or just like legacy ones.

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shiralazar: And there’s a difference in terms of the response you.

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shiralazar: Get and that’s also becomes a bit hard, because you start identifying with that response or being part of something like that, and then, if you either lose that or you’re not part of it.

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shiralazar: You put a lot of your worth towards like oh I lost something that gave me value and so that becomes its own journey to.

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shiralazar: unpack in many ways, like how much you attach your value to something outside of you and the feeling that your quote unquote important and then you’re not important, if you don’t have that so that’s a whole other thing.

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Steve Werner: we’re gonna get to that in a minute, I want to, I want to go back on just like.

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shiralazar: yeah so I was excited I I saw I saw the importance and then.

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shiralazar: You know I you know, a year or two years through at that point, I was like okay why don’t do something bigger with this and that’s what the idea of what’s trending came to be, but you know it took a year or so of going out with the sales team.

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shiralazar: to launch it and even then, you know when yeah when we did get the money at every point it’s just was like Okay, this is really cool, but there was never time to kind of acknowledge that and.

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shiralazar: Take a pause and enjoy it because you’re always like Okay, but we need to do something with this.

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Steve Werner: Right.

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Steve Werner: I feel like that is so, there are a couple of.

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Steve Werner: themes right there right.

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shiralazar: yeah.

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Steve Werner: I mean entrepreneurs, we always we have that goal.

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Steve Werner: And then we hit the goal and then maybe we celebrate it for like 30 seconds and we’re like whoo I got money i’m on CBS but then you’re like.

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Steve Werner: You take one second This is where it’s like for me, I take one second I try to I have to practices to look behind me and be like where did I come from.

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shiralazar: Like holy yeah.

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Steve Werner: But that’s a part, a lot of us miss and then it’s like okay what’s The next thing how am I moving forward, how am I how am I using this.

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shiralazar: yeah or how do I do this well right, because then, a lot of people skip the celebration part which you should celebrate and.

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shiralazar: And do the work, and then they miss out on a moment of acknowledgement of themselves and where they’re at and perspective, and then the other part, is other people just stick in this celebration, they don’t do the work that needs to be done to keep that going and to live up to their promise.

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shiralazar: So I think balance between that those two things and yeah that was an interesting time, also because.

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shiralazar: I had a I had support from certain people and I didn’t have support from other people, a lot of people there did not know what the hell, I was doing why I was hired.

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shiralazar: And even then, I remember, I was eyeballs like I was going to the evening news executive producer to the morning shows executive producers and trying to pitch.

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shiralazar: And pitching going to VID con and doing coverage and them not getting why it’s important and then meanwhile fast forward like five years later.

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shiralazar: One of the producers that I had pitched you at that time was now working for I think like cnbc msnbc one of those and she’s at buffer festival, which is like a.

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shiralazar: Video social media conference in Toronto doing a whole series on the industry and all that stuff and she goes to me oh my God, I remember when you pitched us VID con we passed.

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Steve Werner: And you’re like yep.

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shiralazar: that’s it, I was always i’ve always been early and i’ve always been which.

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shiralazar: has its pros and cons.

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shiralazar: Right right yeah.

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Steve Werner: Well, that let’s talk about I want to talk about that, because I think a lot of entrepreneurs think that this they they get started and they’re like Oh, this is going to be easy.

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Steve Werner: And you I think you you just kind of spoke to that like not only did you have balls to go pitch all this, but you kept going with it, like you, didn’t you didn’t stop once and then.

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Steve Werner: I guess we’ll just jump into like what did it feel like when CBS was like nope.

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Steve Werner: You gotta go do your own thing like.

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shiralazar: Because that when they when they when they fired me.

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Steve Werner: yeah like.

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shiralazar: There was an event that happened that led to that what was frustrating about that is everyone just went silent and then I just found out through the process and that hurt after working with people for a few years and it felt like I wasn’t a human like I just was a.

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shiralazar: A thing that that didn’t deserve any sort of explanation or real conversation or to understand what happens.

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shiralazar: And so that was really difficult to feel like they’re almost like no closure like it was a breakup and that, because when you have no closure, it can bring up a lot of things that you think about.

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shiralazar: yourself and blame yourself for instead of saying, well, it happened circumstantially and I take accountability for it and it just as light watkins who’s my meditation teacher has a really great.

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shiralazar: newsletter similar to Matthew mcconaughey and green lights he talked about you know, the idea of getting fired or we always think about when something ends.

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shiralazar: You know how something was taken from us, and looking at as well it’s not something that taking was taken from us, it was the universe was giving us opportunities to use something else, or an opening for something else about, of course, we get caught up in the.

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shiralazar: The other one because.

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shiralazar: Because we have our own limiting beliefs and a lot of our own self doubts and we like to have we find things to feed into that so as things happen in life.

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shiralazar: it’s a reminder let’s go back into my archive of shiftiness city thoughts about myself like unworthiness this happened, or that fits into that let’s like get into that right, and so, for me, what when that happens it triggered a lot of already.

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shiralazar: thoughts of unworthiness and yeah that like I I couldn’t handle stuff I can’t trust myself I.

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shiralazar: I mess up I fucked up and it fit into that story, and it was something I really had to work, the next, I would say decade on breaking through.

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shiralazar: And it led me towards like after that I went through a you could say a bit of a depression and acting out a lot.

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shiralazar: rebelling against my entire life, while perception wise, we are continuing to go and there was a lot of success, we got nominated for an emmy we want all these awards.

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shiralazar: But I kind of had lost myself, and then I was like attaching myself to any success that we could find after that major failure or what was considered a failure or a bit of a.

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shiralazar: gap or.

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shiralazar: humping my life.

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shiralazar: Well that’s.

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Steve Werner: I mean you just I mean you touched on the entrepreneur journey because it’s.

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Steve Werner: Whatever is going on we’re going to have peaks and valleys like some things are worse than others, some things are better than others, but you touched on how.

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Steve Werner: It like the minute something bad happens it causes us to question ourselves, and I think the more we grow personally and have the resiliency and the tools to handle that.

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Steve Werner: The better like the faster and the higher the peaks we go and that chart trends upwards, one of my good friends actually has something he calls it being fired up.

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Steve Werner: And he’s like when you get fired if you look at it, the right way you’re always going to come out better you’re going to get a better job you’re going to have better circumstances you’re gonna get paid more gives you a chance to do the things that you want it goes back.

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Steve Werner: We were talking about Matthew mcconaughey his book before this.

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Steve Werner: Life is conspiring for you.

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shiralazar: it’s like failing forward right.

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shiralazar: That idea and I think we don’t want to delete or diminish experiences like that, when you go through something and what you consider a.

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shiralazar: Failure or a misstep you, you get to process that and I feel it and there could be wounds that are probably opened up from other things, or they could be new ones.

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shiralazar: And I think that’s fine and that goes back to having the support system so that when you’re going through that you, you don’t get stuck in that, and you can move forward and.

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shiralazar: I guess you know coming out of that whole thing with CBS and and you know coming back on top, we definitely did do that my personal life was still a bit in shambles.

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shiralazar: And at the time of my life, like my personal and professional life we’re definitely very separate like.

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shiralazar: which I think a lot of us, including when we’re younger whenever we go, we then go through it, changing the tide.

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shiralazar: Where we realize like oh everything leaks into the other right how you do anything is how you do everything so ultimately if this part of your life has messed up like don’t act like it’s not going to influence this part of our.

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shiralazar: it’s all connected right at the time I I didn’t see it as that I thought I could put on the you know the mask.

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shiralazar: and act like it was okay.

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shiralazar: But ultimately you know it was influencing how I approached myself professionally and the people around me and how I lead by example as a leader.

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shiralazar: And you know the chaos, you could only hide it for so long, it will come out somehow, and so you know I think the my journey.

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shiralazar: As an entrepreneur, and then, just as, like a human trying to be happy and live a joyful life was.

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shiralazar: realizing that I get to you know if things are coming up, I get to deal with it and, like you could only put things off for so long before they erupts.

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shiralazar: And, and then I get to get have the support and and have a therapist or have mentors and talk through things and realize that it’s not gonna there’s not a perfect way to handle something, but not handling it is worse than trying to handle it.

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Steve Werner: yeah absolutely I think that is I mean that’s one of the you touched on having mentors you touched on having like a personal growth.

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Steve Werner: curve like that learning to deal with stuff and just facing it head on.

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Steve Werner: One of the other signs I have on my desk is easy conversations equal hard life hard conversations equal and easy life that came from TIM ferriss interview I don’t remember.

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Steve Werner: interviewing, but I find that like very if you learn to just face the things that are challenging you learn that one they’re never as challenging as we think they are it’s always the pain in our head of like thinking about dealing with something.

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Steve Werner: yeah but then the second thing is like once you once you do that, like yeah it might not be fun, but it’s going to lead lead you to.

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Steve Werner: To growth and to a better place having those mentors to fall back on or to learn from.

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Steve Werner: Always always are helpful, one of the things that I took away from I can’t remember what book, it was, I think it might have been Tony robbins money book.

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Steve Werner: people that are billionaires still have business coaches, they still have mentors they still have people that they’re learning from you never quote make it right.

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shiralazar: Stop learning or start.

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shiralazar: You know your journey never ends, he has were like onions, where we have layers and then things happen in life that bring up.

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shiralazar: Things all the time triggers limiting beliefs things you thought you had dealt with.

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shiralazar: That you know it’s not linear right that’s also something I always say like just because you feel like you’ve overcome something.

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shiralazar: You know I think it’s even funny I find myself doing this wrong like what I thought I got over that I thought i’d dealt with that and you’re like nope.

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shiralazar: You there’s still more to face and that’s Okay, and I think if you have the compassion for yourself that that’s okay.

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shiralazar: Then you can invite yourself into that conversation in a more loving way, even if it’s it’s going to be a quote unquote hard experience.

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shiralazar: Which is why you know and we’ve talked about this, I believe, before I don’t know if I shared this with you, like the idea of the inner hustle.

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shiralazar: Like the work and it’s something that i’m really for renting, I guess, which is funny.

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shiralazar: or looking to share more of the idea like I Gary vee obviously is ultimate hustler even though he’s kind of trying to.

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shiralazar: move move back from that idea because of the toxic nature of it and.

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shiralazar: You know, but he he wouldn’t even call me like a hustler and mark Cuban would call me a hustler all these amazing people around me who I look up to you’d be like yeah you work so hard you’re such a hustler.

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shiralazar: And you start getting into that identity right and then everything you do is just like who you are.

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shiralazar: And for me it’s about doing that inner work and, like the work that you’re putting into the the external.

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shiralazar: Putting that hard work into being the hustler to your inner hustle right and like what does that look like, for you, because it looks differently, for everyone.

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shiralazar: We all have our own things that we get to overcome but it’s like giving the time and space for that and that’s what we typically don’t do, which is why we ended up being in reactive mode to everything.

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Steve Werner: Well that’s um Okay, so this this interview was going to be about social media influence.

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shiralazar: Yes or.

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Steve Werner: No, no great rabbit hole I mean anyone who knows me and follows the show knows we always.

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shiralazar: Go back to it bring it back you can read.

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Steve Werner: We will.

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shiralazar: answer any questions.

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Steve Werner: We will, but everyone who follows me knows we always get into personal development, so I have two to kind of pointed questions that came out of that and then we’ll come back to.

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Steve Werner: Some social media stuff but that’s okay on I like where this is going so The first one is I love the idea of like of the Inter hustler right like hustle for yourself.

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Steve Werner: So so talk to me about I know that for each person is different right, but what do you see as like if somebody’s like okay well How does that look like like what’s something tangible that I can do today.

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Steve Werner: To work on myself like what is something that you would tell people to do I know like yoga meditation those things, probably resonate with you.

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shiralazar: say.

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shiralazar: You know yeah meditation whatever that means to you, it could be getting a teacher to learn Vedic or transcendental to using a calm and you know the COM APP finding that moment to.

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shiralazar: to slow down the mind to get the mind empty for a moment right or to have the practice of ideas and thoughts coming up.

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shiralazar: And you consciously being okay with that and letting them go that’s meditation it’s not about.

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shiralazar: You know, fully quieting the mind there’s no right or wrong way to do it, people say, well, I thought that come up i’m like that’s the point.

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shiralazar: it’s about the the one moment where you’re allowed to having thoughts come up and you actually The point is that you don’t deal with it, you don’t do anything about it you’d actually just like witness it and let it go.

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shiralazar: And so that practice then really allows you to deal with those things, and they come up in everyday life and slow things down it’s kind of like.

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shiralazar: what’s the keanu reeves movie the matrix when he goes everything’s flying at him and he slows down and he goes, all the way back and things are flying past him I described when you’re like.

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shiralazar: The results of meditation or mindfulness or that you can be the calm in the storm right so that that practice.

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shiralazar: And you know changing those habits, I like read atomic habits that’s amazing book, by the way.

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shiralazar: i’m getting outside in nature we’re so stuck on our screens right we’re so stuck on our screens and our phones getting outside to take a break from that so that you can really come back to you to.

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shiralazar: find your inner compass inner wisdom, I think that we become such like a Google society or society of like validating what we know and feel by asking people their thoughts, when you go when you.

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shiralazar: journal, also in the morning, or the night and then just go outside and disconnect yourself from that noise, you can really gather your thoughts and really understand and hear yourself what feels right.

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shiralazar: See I journaling for me is really important, you know getting also that is a mental masturbation get it out get all those thoughts and feelings out that are like clogging your brain.

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shiralazar: And then gratitude gratitude lists and any point when i’m when I either when I find myself complaining, I take notice and then shift into what’s the gift here.

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shiralazar: What can I be grateful for right now i’m constantly right and even when i’m not complaining having that practice in the morning and the night and then sending the like the intention for the next day for me.

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shiralazar: That is like a daily habit and routine and, like the more I do it, the more becomes ingrained i’m a big fan of therapy to i’m just a big fan of having a safe space to share everything and to work through things that are coming up, so that you.

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shiralazar: You are there for yourself, and you can build that compassionate muscle, but then also take accountability and find solutions versus pointing a finger at everything around you.

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shiralazar: You point the finger at yourself in a loving way to say like okay I can’t control what other people do around me but.

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shiralazar: I can control.

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shiralazar: In the nicest way myself and my actions and who, I am i’m that gets you more clear on your your value system and your deal breakers, and also where you want to be in integrity in your life.

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Steve Werner: that’s I mean that’s huge I think I mean you covered a lot of things.

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shiralazar: I know I kind of like that was but.

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shiralazar: always good the temples because.

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shiralazar: i’m once again it’s not linear, but there are tools to add to your tool belt, so that, as you go through this process of life or whatever entrepreneurship.

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shiralazar: parenthood whatever we’re all going through that we get to fall back on these things, these are like our extra safety blanket support systems, instead of it being like being things that don’t support us like toxic behavior or you know addiction or falling back on things outside of us.

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shiralazar: To fill gaps we fall back on ourselves.

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Steve Werner: Well that’s I mean you touched on you touched on a lot of things if you’re listening to this, I think the first thing that I would recommend if you’re looking just set aside 30 minutes a day that you can journal go for a walk.

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Steve Werner: Do meditation do something for 30 minutes and build that habit start small.

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shiralazar: yeah that’s like the better way to say it yeah start small be I mean and atomic habits, they even say like.

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shiralazar: change a habit, it could be two minutes for literally a month and, by the time you hit that month.

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shiralazar: you’ve been doing everything for two minutes that you’re like well I could do this for longer than two minutes This is ridiculous right but yeah like I mean I usually in the morning, I try to set on an hour aside so and the five Emerald to they talk about like the I think it’s.

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shiralazar: 2020 2020 minutes of meditation 20 minutes of physical activity.

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shiralazar: 20 minutes of learning like reading learning something new and 20 minutes of like journaling yep.

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shiralazar: That is, that is, the yeah great breakdown also.

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Steve Werner: I mean there’s there are a lot out there, but just don’t get overwhelmed I know when I first heard all this stuff in 2014 I was like.

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Steve Werner: I built like a three three our morning routine I was like this sucks but then it dialed back to an hour, and it was something I could stick to and i’ve now done it for six years, seven years.

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shiralazar: yeah and, by the way, i’m not the person that’s going to be like, and if you don’t do it every day, your life’s gonna fall apart like I i’m definitely that person that some days I can’t hit it.

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shiralazar: or i’ll just do the meditations and things i’ll do all of it, some days i’ll do a few they’ve just become the backbone right the Foundation and then you know you.

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shiralazar: You go into the day intentionally like the night before knowing hey what do I need to do, I work back to do that, and sometimes it doesn’t happen.

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shiralazar: And that’s okay tomorrow’s a new day that goes back to like having levity and at all and and being playful with it all, because if you take it too seriously.

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shiralazar: You lose the point of it all because we’re trying to get ourselves out of a point i’m taking ourselves too seriously we’re trying to heal ourselves not.

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shiralazar: More.

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Steve Werner: that’s yeah the The other thing that you touched on, which I think it’s an ongoing theme of the show is you take responsibility for yourself, first and foremost, you can’t control everything in the world, you can’t.

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Steve Werner: control what happens to you, but you can control your response and responding versus reacting is always going to lead you to a better place.

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yeah.

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Steve Werner: You know you I remember a couple years ago somebody challenged me I was really upset.

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Steve Werner: Because I had spent a bunch of money on something and it didn’t work out the way that I wanted to, and my ego was like they’re wrong and the my coach at the time challenged me they said, what are you getting out of that.

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Steve Werner: i’m.

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Steve Werner: Like you’re just being upset for now gone on a couple weeks.

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Steve Werner: And i’ve written a bunch of.

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Steve Werner: emails and like it was it was like this ongoing like feud and they were like if you got the money back.

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Steve Werner: You sure you’d have more money in your bank account, but how much time and energy and negativity have you spent and how is that affecting everything else in your life.

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Steve Werner: And is it really if you don’t like it just move on like and.

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Steve Werner: I like I had to sit with that and I remember like yelling I was like you’re wrong they owe me like it’s wrong that they’re doing this it’s wrong they’re getting away with it said all that might be true.

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Steve Werner: But is it really bettering anything for you right now, and I was like no it’s not serving me they were like is it serving you, you can you can make a note of it.

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Steve Werner: Like I would I would encourage anyone listening I won’t go down any more rabbit hole like that, but that’s that is a good practice to be in is anger serving you is resentment serving you is.

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Steve Werner: Having a grudge.

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shiralazar: Those are heavy things.

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shiralazar: Right so it’s like think of it as a bag you’re holding over your back energetically like the more you have for me anything that is a negative vibe which is you know we know this thing’s hate.

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shiralazar: jealousy resentments grudges any of that that and secrets is a big that’s a big one secrets and lies.

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shiralazar: That continues to be a heavy weights and a burden to carry that you are carrying and imagine how much that is stopping you that weight from having joy in your life and freedom, there is no freedom, when you have that on you, that is, like the opposite of freedom.

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shiralazar: Right let go of your own shackles right like you’ve already once I think once you already have put out there, like you’ve communicated what you thought about a scenario.

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shiralazar: You know, you yourself have done some processing felt it looked at why that happened what you would do differently.

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shiralazar: there’s only so much you can do at that point you can’t control the way someone else is going to react, or what they’re going to do you’ve already done your part, you got to adopt point let it go and move on.

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shiralazar: that’s learn your lessons.

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Steve Werner: Right, where you can take what serves you and leave the rest on one of my other mentors I just to echo your point is.

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Steve Werner: They said forgiveness, has nothing to do with the other person like when you forgive somebody it just frees up all that mental space of like resentment anger frustration, you were holding towards somebody and like.

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Steve Werner: I took that to heart and forgave some people from my past for things and like instantly cleared all of that, and it allowed me to move forward in ways I never even thought of all right cheryl we are going to pivot.

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Steve Werner: Yes, I want to hear some thoughts on.

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Steve Werner: I think you have a really unique perspective on people that are like I want to be an influencer I want to break through whether it’s on YouTube or instagram you’ve interviewed so many people and you’ve dealt with so many people in this space.

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Steve Werner: I want to get kind of tactical and if somebody is out there, listening to this and they’re like I want to break through that.

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Steve Werner: What are some of either the mistakes that you see people make or things that you would recommend they do, I guess, those could be two things those can be two separate things i’ll kind of give you the MIC and let you run with it.

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shiralazar: um well mistakes are not doing something that they care about or they’re just like following what they think is popular and becomes very obvious that you’re just trying to do.

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shiralazar: What you see other people are doing and also not sticking with it long enough, I mean I make that mistake all so we’re I think that it should just make sense right away, and then i’m in my flow, it was meant to be.

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shiralazar: And i’m not giving things the time to grow and like i’m not committing to it right, and so, and also the there’s certain best practices right.

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shiralazar: Consistency depending on what type of content you’re doing the quality factor, depending on the platform, there are best practices to those platforms.

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shiralazar: And so, getting a sense of that if you’re not following that if you’re just creating your own rules which Great be a rebel but there’s a certain reason why certain things work on these platforms.

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shiralazar: And if you’re just going out of your way not to follow that or just throwing it all against the wall and seeing what sticks like.

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shiralazar: Like play with the framework there’s a framework for a reason and then get creative in that framework.

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shiralazar: And so what did you say the things that people should do is hunker down on the things they’re good at a hunker down on the things that bring them joy.

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shiralazar: And then you know follow other accounts doing similar things, and this is where like the balances between inspiration and then using it as a way to make yourself feel like crap like I you know.

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shiralazar: You need to compare yourself to yourself, the comparison game to others, is just a recipe for disaster and will lead you down a deep dark hole of anxiety and probably depression let’s not go there.

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shiralazar: So look at like always one up yourself, when you went up yourself and that becomes you’re comparing yourself to.

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shiralazar: Okay, like that’s that you can do if you’re going to always be looking at other accounts that are killing it and this not you use that as inspiration, but.

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shiralazar: don’t go there and I think seeing what they’re doing and what’s working and then you know being clear about what you want to do like what I always do is I create like a document.

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shiralazar: And i’ll say Okay, these are the types of accounts that I that I love that are maybe huge, these are the ones that are more up and coming.

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shiralazar: What are they all doing that I like what are they doing that I don’t like and then.

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shiralazar: Once I see that I could kind of use that as a framework for how I want to approach them what I do and then create a strategy right, so you know.

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shiralazar: Of when i’m going to be uploading when i’m creating that content what that is static.

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shiralazar: Is what does it look like and what platforms, I want to focus on if i’m in food or fashion, I might be focusing on platforms certain platforms more if i’m doing more industry B2B stuff.

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shiralazar: You know, social media news i’m gonna be more probably on like linkedin and also instagram maybe I won’t even touch you too, because you just their bs so it’s about knowing what your wishes, and where to put that content, because those audiences are in those places.

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Steve Werner: I mean I love your your framework for looking at like if whatever you’re doing out there, this applies to any niche look at the people who are like the biggest movers in that space look at the up and comers.

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Steve Werner: And figure out what you like about it you’re not telling anybody to copy you’re not telling anyone to rip off.

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Steve Werner: Instead, look at all of it and actually make a list take the time to do a spreadsheet or just a piece of paper write some notes.

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Steve Werner: And like spend the time to brainstorm i’ve seen so many people just be like i’m just going to go live i’m just going to talk about this stuff well you don’t have any consistent flow you don’t know how to interview you’re not paying attention to what’s hot like.

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shiralazar: It turns out, being practice, I would say then just do it because you learn through the act of doing.

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shiralazar: And I always say, like the first thing you do will be totally different than the hundred thing you do, but keep going and and even with me as much as I practice, these things, all the time, like.

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shiralazar: I myself, whether it be my personal YouTube channel like what’s trending even i’ve so many teams we’ve had over the years you’d be surprised how many times i’m always almost like.

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shiralazar: feeling like we’re starting from scratch again every time like even recently I my current team we’re talking about these best practices and i’m like we’ve done this before well i’ve done this, I haven’t done this with this team.

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shiralazar: Right, so it feels like i’m in groundhog’s day sometimes where they’re like we should be doing X y&z I was like yeah well if you looked at what’s trending two years ago, five years ago, you can see we’ve done that but happy to bring back.

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shiralazar: But somehow between the teams it got lost right.

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shiralazar: And so yeah I don’t even know where what like Oh, where it was going, but it was it was that what you do now will be totally different than what you do in the future, but you just got to keep on getting the REPS in.

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shiralazar: Or else you’re not you’re not going to be able to figure out what doesn’t work and what works.

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Steve Werner: That I mean getting the REPS in is key, because that is where you are going to figure it out, you can plan and plan and plan the minute you start taking action, the plan becomes like.

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Steve Werner: A bullet point that kind of gives you a little bit of guidance and then your, but you are you’re going to you’re always always going to learn and grow through doing it.

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Steve Werner: Alright, share the last question I have for you we’ve talked about a couple different books on here, but I always like to get the number one book recommendation that people should read what What would you.

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Steve Werner: want people to.

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shiralazar: Oh, my God well my favorite if you’re going through a rut and you just feel like i’m I don’t feel excited about the things i’m doing anymore i’m confused I need some clarity the artist’s way is my favorite.

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shiralazar: It gets you into the morning journaling like I as as much as journaling is so part of me like i’m one of those if you said journal now i’d be like Okay, here it goes like it’s so easy.

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shiralazar: Three four years ago, I was one of those like I had this romantic idea of journaling like I always love the idea of it but doing it, it just wasn’t in me.

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shiralazar: and doing the morning pages, which they have as an exercise in this book got me into it after three months you’re like it just part of you, and then it for me I I read that at a time where I felt like I was confused.

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shiralazar: about what I was doing and I wasn’t feeling the excitement anymore, and so I was possibly going through a mild depression as well and it got me back to my child like self.

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shiralazar: And like play and doing things outside of my work which now is so part of who I am what I do, and I even incorporate into my brand and my work.

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shiralazar: But then, you know, whether it be and even you know that list of things we all have.

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shiralazar: A bucket list or even like a lower bucket list of things that we want to do on the weekends or.

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shiralazar: places we see online and we say Okay, I wish I could go there and then you keep saying that and then years fly by and that builds also resentment.

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shiralazar: You start resenting yourself, for not doing the things you wish, you could do, and that also, by the way, is a big part of lowering yourself worth not following through on things that your heart is asking you to do it’s like the child and you saying, please.

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shiralazar: Share please like can I go here, and you just think we’ll get to it will get to it, what does that make you feel you start feeling less than.

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shiralazar: The you you’re like childlike self is like I can’t be heard or seen and guess what that.

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shiralazar: ends up moving into other areas of your life, where you’re not like fully expressing yourself being you know and shining your light into the world.

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shiralazar: might sound cheesy but it’s so true, we all have our light, we all have that thing we need to be like expressing and how we need to show up.

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Steve Werner: Well that’s how you that’s how you become your own biggest fan.

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shiralazar: yeah like that’s how you figure out what is you what’s what’s your like when everyone asks you well what.

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shiralazar: what’s your angle, or like what’s your voice what’s your point of view, like we lose our point of view, because we tend to package, it for what we think.

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shiralazar: makes sense, out of strategy and blah blah blah all the things like we are hearing or all the people we see right like so it’s like all about coming back to you, I always say it’s not about.

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shiralazar: Finding you it’s about being you right and that’s like your biggest gift so that that book really helped me find myself like be find myself to be myself and.

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shiralazar: I just love that book so definitely and then it ends up.

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shiralazar: Like energizing you within the things are doing or maybe it pushes you towards another path that you wanted to pursue maybe didn’t have the guts to.

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shiralazar: write and we are told, yourself, you shouldn’t because of certain things, so I would say the artist’s way is like on my list the four agreements also.

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Steve Werner: Very book.

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shiralazar: To just is to live a happy life it’s like don’t make assumptions do your best with it, oh my God, I always mess this up what is it.

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shiralazar: To others.

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Steve Werner: um The thing that I took away from it, the biggest thing I took away was that other people’s actions have nothing to do with you.

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Steve Werner: that’s like the biggest thing, and you get that like that will change your life because you always think like Oh, they did that, like your ego gets involved, but really.

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Steve Werner: The other person 99% of the time is doing the best that they can with what they have, and it has nothing to do with what you’re doing.

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shiralazar: So yeah and sorry I did Google, so I said happiness, but it’s personal freedom So for me, I always I fall back on the four agreements when i’m feeling crappy and i’m like just.

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shiralazar: You know I go back okay well how do I find my own freedom in this right now.

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shiralazar: And so I say you know be impeccable with your word which is integrity don’t take anything, personally, which is what you just said don’t make assumptions always do your best, and when I look at that and I fall back on that I say to myself, I did as much as I could do like.

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shiralazar: It kind of becomes also a framework of letting yourself free of whatever shame or guilt or misunderstanding and hate that you’re putting yourself through.

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shiralazar: Like its own Bible of sorts.

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Steve Werner: I don’t want to get into.

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shiralazar: Religion it’s a great book it’s short it’s.

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shiralazar: So short it’s like you could literally have it by your bedside like as a as when you’re dealing with something you just come back to it and it’s like it’s a reminder awesome.

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Steve Werner: Sure Thank you so much for coming on and sharing all the personal development stuff.

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Steve Werner: I think people that tuned in got more than they bargained for with this episode which is great where can they find you if people want to follow you where should they go.

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shiralazar: cheryl is are on every platform and then you can see what’s trending piece inside live all this stuff i’m working on.

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Steve Werner: awesome share Thank you so much for coming on to everyone else till next time take action change lives and make money we’ll see you soon.

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shiralazar: i’m cool.

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Steve Werner: You are good awesome.

 

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