Monica Parkin: Overcoming Awkward – an introverts guide to networking.

Want The Actionable Take-A-Ways, But Don’t Have The Time To Listen?

Grab the “Action Bullets” Cheat Sheet For This Episode Below

Add Main text for the episode blurb here

Podcast on Itunes:

If you Enjoyed This Episode, Please Leave Us A Review 🙂
It helps us grow! 

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on reddit
Steve Werner

Steve Werner

Keynote Speaker, Author, 170+ Monetization, Conversion, and One to Many Sales Presentations Worldwide.

If you want to learn about the 5 Webinar Conversion Keys, you can grab my ebook and mini-course “Death To Bad Webinars” for free here:

If you have a webinar, but it’s not converting the way you want, book your webinar audit here:

If you want to build a RockStar Webinar from scratch that will covert like wildfire, click here to book your free strategy call:


00:00:05.040 –> 00:00:14.340
Steve Werner: Welcome back to grow your impact income and influence the number one show helping you reach millions on the Internet, my name is Steve Warner I am your.

00:00:14.340 –> 00:00:17.940
Steve Werner: host and today we are going to be talking about.

00:00:18.539 –> 00:00:23.700
Steve Werner: introverts if you are an introvert if you get socially awkward around a lot of people if you.

00:00:23.880 –> 00:00:29.850
Steve Werner: don’t like going to parties or you go to parties because you feel like you need to, and then you hide in the corner and you never know what to say.

00:00:30.090 –> 00:00:34.080
Steve Werner: today’s show is for you this is going to help your.

00:00:34.110 –> 00:00:34.740
Steve Werner: impact.

00:00:34.890 –> 00:00:44.130
Steve Werner: This is going to help your income and is going to help your influence we’re touching all three of the basis today, please help me welcome Monica parking Monica how are you doing.

00:00:44.940 –> 00:00:48.630
Monica Parkin, Author: Great thanks for that great interest to happy to be here.

00:00:49.380 –> 00:00:54.000
Steve Werner: No problem and you come to us from one of the most beautiful places.

00:00:54.030 –> 00:00:56.310
Steve Werner: In the world Vancouver island, we were talking about this.

00:00:56.460 –> 00:01:01.560
Steve Werner: You can ski you can serve, you can go to the beach, but you chose to be here with us today, so thank you.

00:01:02.520 –> 00:01:10.800
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah for sure I am super lucky lucky to live, where I am but equally lucky to be hanging out with your listeners, and you today so thanks for that.

00:01:11.460 –> 00:01:23.730
Steve Werner: yeah so this started off for you, I mean you’re a mortgage broker, which, if you’re going to be a mortgage broker you’ve got to go out and meet people you wrote a best selling book that is on audible right now, it is number one and it.

00:01:23.790 –> 00:01:25.560
Steve Werner: is overcome awkward.

00:01:25.800 –> 00:01:31.560
Steve Werner: The introverts guide to networking, but things didn’t start off with you being great at networking.

00:01:31.650 –> 00:01:32.400
Monica Parkin, Author: Especially yeah.

00:01:33.780 –> 00:01:44.250
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah so you know you’re talking about mortgage brokers need to network well I didn’t get that memo I had no idea, so I went took the course and I thought this is awesome i’ll hang out at home i’ll be with my dog I can.

00:01:44.460 –> 00:01:52.470
Monica Parkin, Author: send some emails I can work on numbers, I can live in my little introvert bubble, and then I I show up the first day at my new office and they’re like.

00:01:53.640 –> 00:01:56.970
Monica Parkin, Author: don’t get some leads kind of thing like Where are you going to network first and i’m like.

00:01:57.300 –> 00:02:09.870
Monica Parkin, Author: Network, what are you talking about like that, like that wasn’t part of the deal, I don’t have to network and they’re like yeah dude like that’s actually pretty much 75% of what you need to do, and the other 25% is working on mortgage files.

00:02:11.820 –> 00:02:15.150
Steve Werner: How did, how did that land for you like, how did you feel.

00:02:16.650 –> 00:02:23.100
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah you know when you just want to throw up like that’s how it landed and then I laid awake all night, and I was like do I quit do I.

00:02:23.520 –> 00:02:31.320
Monica Parkin, Author: Like just invested a lot of time, a lot of money in this like, can I just throw this away, and I was like no I can’t I have to at least.

00:02:31.710 –> 00:02:36.780
Monica Parkin, Author: give it a try, so the office kind of threw me a little bone they’re like you know what there’s a chamber commerce dinner next week.

00:02:37.170 –> 00:02:45.900
Monica Parkin, Author: we’re all gonna go will bring you with us, we can introduce you to some people it’ll be great and so I thought well yeah there’s gonna be people there, I know you know I can probably.

00:02:46.380 –> 00:02:58.860
Monica Parkin, Author: Do this so I get there, and being all like eager beaver I show up 20 minutes early, so no one’s there for the office I go in I look around and I freak out and I go back to my car.

00:03:00.120 –> 00:03:01.980
Monica Parkin, Author: My car like that’s how I handle that.

00:03:03.120 –> 00:03:07.020
Steve Werner: Okay, so anyone listening to this that says i’m an introvert.

00:03:08.640 –> 00:03:14.340
Steve Werner: yeah I mean you just got super vulnerable with us i’m like I can’t I naturally i’m extroverted I was.

00:03:14.670 –> 00:03:28.260
Steve Werner: One of those kids that just came out talking to everybody, but I can imagine being scared or being like how am I going to deal with this, so what happened is starting to change things for you like, what did your friends say to you what what happened next well the edge of my seat.

00:03:28.380 –> 00:03:36.660
Monica Parkin, Author: The next thing is I stopped the car for a couple minutes, and one of my co workers drove up and i’m like Okay, well, I was gonna say I couldn’t make it, I was second hour here so i’m gonna go in.

00:03:37.050 –> 00:03:47.550
Monica Parkin, Author: And I went in and I like I did that thing that while you’re an extrovert so you and understand this, but i’m like you know how long is too long to make eye contact like where do I put my hand if i’ve been at the appetizers able to like.

00:03:48.360 –> 00:04:02.400
Monica Parkin, Author: Like what am I supposed to do this is so much going on, and so I just like i’m just going to do it like when around it shook people’s hands, I talked about myself got through the night, I came home and i’m looking at all these business cards in my hand and i’m like.

00:04:04.110 –> 00:04:12.870
Monica Parkin, Author: I just throw these out like I don’t I don’t know these people I didn’t make a connection with them, so I toss them out and then as i’m throwing them out i’m like this light bulb goes on like.

00:04:14.220 –> 00:04:20.310
Monica Parkin, Author: If i’m trying to have their cards, like my cards to like what I just did.

00:04:20.760 –> 00:04:30.330
Monica Parkin, Author: Was not effective, for me, like I literally did not build any connections tonight right and I realized like there’s got to be a different way for people like me to build connections that wasn’t the right way for me.

00:04:31.410 –> 00:04:33.120
Steve Werner: So what okay first off.

00:04:33.690 –> 00:04:38.070
Steve Werner: Anyone who just goes around and gets business cards and your realtor so I have to like.

00:04:38.100 –> 00:04:43.980
Steve Werner: apologize and put an Asterix here I usually tell a story about like if you ever been in a cocktail party and a realtor comes up to you.

00:04:44.100 –> 00:04:48.000
Steve Werner: And just tells you how they have a House that was perfect for you, even though you haven’t even said.

00:04:48.090 –> 00:04:53.850
Steve Werner: That you want to buy a house and that’s the worst form of networking, I am really.

00:04:54.000 –> 00:05:01.230
Steve Werner: i’m guessing I might know the answer to the next question, but what did you do, that was a better form of networking, how did you act with people.

00:05:01.560 –> 00:05:11.040
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah well first I started with baby steps, but what I figured out is I actually went to a bunch of people in my industry that are just like rock stars in the industry that are like reach out anytime kind of thing.

00:05:11.340 –> 00:05:15.570
Monica Parkin, Author: So I reached out to the first one she’s like you know Monica just just be yourself and i’m like.

00:05:16.140 –> 00:05:21.330
Monica Parkin, Author: What be myself this is this is baloney right and ask the next one next one They all said the same thing and i’m like.

00:05:22.080 –> 00:05:27.210
Monica Parkin, Author: I actually got kind of mad I was like this, what they tell kids in school like go be yourself right like people myself.

00:05:27.540 –> 00:05:31.590
Monica Parkin, Author: But then I sat with it for a few days and I thought you know i’m going to try this yourself thing right.

00:05:31.890 –> 00:05:41.940
Monica Parkin, Author: And I started to just be me like like you said, be a little bit vulnerable be real quirky me like i’m actually crazy go lady I want a bunch of miniature goats I started but me and my goats up on social media and.

00:05:42.240 –> 00:05:52.530
Monica Parkin, Author: Talking about things that i’m passionate about and getting involved, and thanks to my community and all of a sudden, like magical things started to happen right people started to reach out to me I start to build relationships.

00:05:53.160 –> 00:05:53.850
Steve Werner: That is.

00:05:55.290 –> 00:06:04.170
Steve Werner: giving you the golf clap because that’s so I teach I mean I teach marketing to people I teach people how to do public speaking, and the number one thing that I tell people is.

00:06:04.170 –> 00:06:05.400
Steve Werner: Just be yourself.

00:06:05.610 –> 00:06:19.170
Steve Werner: it’s not about having a template it’s not about having a format, yes, those things are tools and they can help you get better, but at the end of the day, just be yourself, and I think so many people are scared of rejection scared of judgment.

00:06:19.560 –> 00:06:33.060
Steve Werner: That they they like cringe and they’re like well if I if I just act like I have everything together so first off that is truly awesome I love that you own baby goats and that you talk about them, I want to point.

00:06:33.120 –> 00:06:36.330
Steve Werner: To two things that you did that were amazing The first one is.

00:06:36.720 –> 00:06:45.450
Steve Werner: That first night, you could have made an excuse i’m not feeling well i’m going to go home, but instead you said you know what i’m going to be uncomfortable one of the biggest traits.

00:06:45.780 –> 00:06:50.670
Steve Werner: Among successful people is that they find a way to be okay with being uncomfortable and growing.

00:06:51.180 –> 00:07:04.350
Steve Werner: You did, and then you took it even a step further and you said this isn’t working for me, but instead of networking garbage you said how can I make this work, for me, and you went and figured it out, you ask people who are successful.

00:07:04.350 –> 00:07:04.980
Steve Werner: And modeled them.

00:07:05.340 –> 00:07:10.650
Steve Werner: So talk to me about how you found the courage to be vulnerable and put yourself out there.

00:07:11.280 –> 00:07:20.100
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah well, if I can go back for one second is I got a thought my brain and but what you just said, but you were talking about how, when you teach people about speaking, you tell them to be themselves and be vulnerable.

00:07:20.460 –> 00:07:24.750
Monica Parkin, Author: And as an extrovert this might not happen, you but for me as a socially awkward person.

00:07:25.020 –> 00:07:32.550
Monica Parkin, Author: When i’m trying to be someone i’m not what happens is all these windows are open my brain is like i’m telling a lie right and i’m trying to remember all the details.

00:07:32.820 –> 00:07:43.920
Monica Parkin, Author: And that’s when I get super awkward, but when i’m just being me like i’m just replaying movies, from my mind that are already there and I don’t have to think I don’t have to worry about how i’m acting I don’t worry if i’m telling the truth, like.

00:07:44.400 –> 00:07:49.200
Monica Parkin, Author: i’m just being me and so it’s easy, like all the anxiety all the stress goes away.

00:07:49.710 –> 00:07:59.640
Monica Parkin, Author: And, and it just makes it easy, so I just, I just wanted to say high five I love that you tell people that i’m sorry I did answer your question, you might have to repeat it again, but I got really excited about that topic so.

00:07:59.940 –> 00:08:03.900
Steve Werner: No, that is, so I you.

00:08:03.930 –> 00:08:08.700
Steve Werner: I mean you’re you’re preaching to the choir but to people listening, I can hear the thing in their head.

00:08:09.060 –> 00:08:14.160
Steve Werner: And this is the question how do you find the courage to do that, because what happens if somebody.

00:08:14.160 –> 00:08:14.580
Steve Werner: says.

00:08:15.000 –> 00:08:23.610
Steve Werner: I don’t like you I don’t like baby goats I don’t because that’s the negative voice that a lot of people have in their head I don’t think anybody should lie, I think the minute that you.

00:08:23.700 –> 00:08:27.870
Steve Werner: Put falsities out there and say i’m the best mortgage broker in the world, or I love.

00:08:27.930 –> 00:08:34.230
Steve Werner: Whatever you love, just so you’re trying to build rapport with people your mind knows that you’re lying your body knows that you’re.

00:08:34.230 –> 00:08:36.270
Steve Werner: lying, it will come across that way that’s.

00:08:36.420 –> 00:08:42.990
Steve Werner: Where the term bullshit artist or used car salesman comes from when you are authentically yourself.

00:08:44.280 –> 00:08:47.010
Steve Werner: You are you are stripping away the ego and people.

00:08:47.790 –> 00:08:52.260
Steve Werner: Very few of them, but one or two will say that’s not for me I don’t like it.

00:08:53.010 –> 00:08:57.720
Steve Werner: How did you find the courage to actually put yourself out there, especially as an introvert.

00:08:58.410 –> 00:09:07.320
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah well two things one is baby steps like really baby steps and I actually, even though I said don’t why I told myself a lie in the beginning, right, I said.

00:09:07.740 –> 00:09:16.620
Monica Parkin, Author: I think I have to fake it till I make it right like I used to hate coffee first couple times a drink and I hated it, the more I did it I got used to it so i’m like well if I just pretend I like this thing.

00:09:16.980 –> 00:09:25.920
Monica Parkin, Author: And I keep doing it and I keep looking for evidence that is working, maybe all internalize that evidence and start to like it so that’s literally what I did, and I started with like.

00:09:26.250 –> 00:09:33.390
Monica Parkin, Author: The grocery store line up like I used to hate it when clerks would look at your card and go hey Mrs park and how you like don’t talk to me like I don’t want to have a conversation with you.

00:09:33.720 –> 00:09:38.550
Monica Parkin, Author: And instead, and I said no, Monica you told yourself, this morning you like people.

00:09:38.970 –> 00:09:45.840
Monica Parkin, Author: And I left that conversation happen and I found out like someone was two for one today and then at the end of the day, i’m like cool I got a deal.

00:09:46.110 –> 00:09:53.130
Monica Parkin, Author: Because I talked to someone and then every day I stepped out a little further and a little further and a little further until all of a sudden, you look back and you’re like.

00:09:53.610 –> 00:10:01.320
Monica Parkin, Author: wow it’s so you know, like when did that happen it’s like watching a flower grow like one day it’s grown, but you don’t know when it happened, it just kind of.

00:10:01.830 –> 00:10:05.310
Monica Parkin, Author: happened by dipping your toe in right.

00:10:06.030 –> 00:10:06.210

00:10:08.850 –> 00:10:09.210
Steve Werner: Sorry.

00:10:10.560 –> 00:10:11.190
Steve Werner: Go ahead.

00:10:11.430 –> 00:10:16.110
Steve Werner: You go it’s all about being vulnerable, is what I figured out and I figured out.

00:10:16.230 –> 00:10:20.550
Monica Parkin, Author: The hard way or not, the hard way by by just being vulnerable, but when you’re vulnerable.

00:10:20.970 –> 00:10:28.830
Monica Parkin, Author: You give other people, the space to be vulnerable right, so you think that they might not like you, but what it actually does is they look at you, and they go wow.

00:10:29.250 –> 00:10:43.620
Monica Parkin, Author: If she can be herself, maybe I can be myself and then all sudden they’re sharing things with you that they might not have shared before and then before you know it like you form this really deep meaningful relationship that you can form if you’re just this fake person.

00:10:44.850 –> 00:10:54.150
Steve Werner: That is so true the I mean i’ve had more people because i’ll share things you listen to a podcast where I absolutely butchered.

00:10:54.660 –> 00:11:04.290
Steve Werner: The lady’s name and I apologize, we didn’t edit out of the podcast i’ve had probably 20 people email me and say I can’t believe you did that, but you handled it.

00:11:04.290 –> 00:11:05.070
Steve Werner: really well.

00:11:05.340 –> 00:11:23.820
Steve Werner: And I but it’s just me being me right, like I can’t read very well, I read a lot of books but i’m dyslexic so like I can’t it’s all fanatic, but being vulnerable allows other people to have the same same thing exactly what you are saying and the baby step conversation.

00:11:23.850 –> 00:11:27.330
Steve Werner: I really want to touch on the baby step conversation because so many people.

00:11:28.680 –> 00:11:33.570
Steve Werner: Over the last eight years have reached out and said things like i’m scared to death to speak onstage, how do you do that.

00:11:33.600 –> 00:11:38.370
Steve Werner: Or, I am scared to death to grow my business or to have a mastermind or to do whatever.

00:11:38.580 –> 00:11:54.270
Steve Werner: How do you do that, and is exactly what you said it is baby steps and I don’t call it lying to myself what I say is I am changing my belief here and i’m not comfortable with it right now but i’m going to instead of seeing all the.

00:11:54.270 –> 00:11:56.550
Steve Werner: negatives around it i’m going to find one positive.

00:11:56.670 –> 00:12:04.050
Steve Werner: Your story about going to the grocery store, you told yourself in the morning, I am changing my belief i’m going to figure out a way to like.

00:12:04.050 –> 00:12:05.100
Steve Werner: talking to people.

00:12:05.280 –> 00:12:09.750
Steve Werner: And i’m sure that I can find one positive thing, because what we focus on, is where we go.

00:12:10.980 –> 00:12:14.310
Steve Werner: And that’s what you did, and you took baby steps, and as you take.

00:12:14.310 –> 00:12:15.210
Steve Werner: Baby steps.

00:12:15.510 –> 00:12:23.220
Steve Werner: You will get more comfortable with what the new action is and before you know it just like you said, your that flower.

00:12:23.730 –> 00:12:24.270
that’s so yeah.

00:12:25.440 –> 00:12:35.790
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah most people are important that way right you look at an amazing soccer player they don’t get that way by playing soccer once a year, the first time they picked up a soccer ball, they were probably felt like all arms and all legs, but.

00:12:36.030 –> 00:12:38.130
Monica Parkin, Author: When they do it consistently, day after day.

00:12:38.490 –> 00:12:50.010
Monica Parkin, Author: All of a sudden, you develop the skill set, then you develop comfort like you take the thought the thought leads to an action, the action leads to an outcome, the outcome is good makes you feel better and there’s like this whole cycle that just grows and expands.

00:12:50.730 –> 00:12:54.210
Steve Werner: that’s it, I think, where people the other place that.

00:12:54.210 –> 00:12:58.200
Steve Werner: people get hung up in this we’re kind of going down a little bit of a rabbit hole of mindset, but.

00:12:58.560 –> 00:13:03.870
Steve Werner: by comparing yourself to other people that are miles ahead of you it beats yourself up.

00:13:03.900 –> 00:13:05.160
Steve Werner: Right like I know people.

00:13:05.250 –> 00:13:14.040
Steve Werner: That you know they’re looking at people that are superstars in the industry and, like I need 1 million followers on instagram or I need X.

00:13:14.250 –> 00:13:17.670
Steve Werner: And when you compare yourself and the person is light years out there.

00:13:18.210 –> 00:13:24.240
Steve Werner: And you be yourself up for not getting there, it makes it hard to take action, but if, instead, this is what I do in my own.

00:13:24.240 –> 00:13:26.190
Steve Werner: personal life you we can talk about this.

00:13:26.610 –> 00:13:33.660
Steve Werner: i’ll pick the person out there right to grant cardone Tony robbins on Elon musk Those are three of my heroes.

00:13:34.890 –> 00:13:41.010
Steve Werner: I look up to them, but instead of trying to be where they’re at I look at people that are one or two levels ahead of me.

00:13:41.850 –> 00:13:44.310
Steve Werner: You know somebody who is my goal for this year is.

00:13:44.310 –> 00:13:45.690
Steve Werner: To be on 100 stages.

00:13:46.560 –> 00:13:54.120
Steve Werner: I look at people who are at maybe at stages, last year I did 50 and 51 so i’m like look at people that are.

00:13:54.120 –> 00:13:56.010
Steve Werner: At 121 50.

00:13:56.670 –> 00:14:04.140
Steve Werner: Because I can compare myself to them, and it is a much more realistic thing, but I look at the end goal of how do I get.

00:14:04.200 –> 00:14:05.760
Steve Werner: In front of 10,000 people.

00:14:06.120 –> 00:14:14.220
Steve Werner: i’m going to get there one day i’m doing it incrementally i’m setting myself up for baby steps, how did I mean I don’t know if you’re that goal oriented did you set.

00:14:14.220 –> 00:14:15.060
Steve Werner: goals like that.

00:14:15.810 –> 00:14:24.060
Monica Parkin, Author: I am yeah well I don’t know if I did it consciously but definitely unconsciously i’m always thinking about the next like, in fact, sometimes I think I don’t actually stop and.

00:14:24.180 –> 00:14:29.730
Monica Parkin, Author: celebrate the goal off enough like you hit the goalpost and then you’re off and running when really you need to be like holy crap like.

00:14:30.180 –> 00:14:33.840
Monica Parkin, Author: I hit this goal, like just sit here for a minute and enjoy it but i’m always like.

00:14:34.470 –> 00:14:43.470
Monica Parkin, Author: running for the next one, so that’s kind of a personal flaw for me, but speaking about speaking like I always seem I wanted to be a speaker I had all these ideas in my head, I want to get them out.

00:14:43.950 –> 00:14:49.950
Monica Parkin, Author: You know I walked into my first toastmasters meeting and I turned around and walked out just like I did it the networking thing i’m like this is too.

00:14:50.280 –> 00:14:54.330
Monica Parkin, Author: freaking scary but I went back the next week and then I sat and listened to people right.

00:14:54.840 –> 00:15:01.380
Monica Parkin, Author: And then the next week I like offered to like take some little role and every week I notched it up a little bit and.

00:15:01.710 –> 00:15:14.250
Monica Parkin, Author: You know here, I am now I am a speaker right and maybe i’m not the speaker that’s doing 1200 events, a year but yeah i’m getting out there i’m on stages i’m speaking to large crowds and I I feel good about it, but I couldn’t have done that on day one, like no way.

00:15:15.330 –> 00:15:24.030
Steve Werner: That that man I hope everybody listens to this show because so many people, especially in today’s i’m going to share another story that like.

00:15:24.330 –> 00:15:28.440
Steve Werner: I was being interviewed for a podcast and I gave them i’ve been in business for eight years.

00:15:29.190 –> 00:15:34.140
Steve Werner: Eight years of speaking growing building more audiences getting to.

00:15:34.140 –> 00:15:35.250
Steve Werner: Larger events like.

00:15:35.490 –> 00:15:43.740
Steve Werner: Growing my business and the guys interviewing me and he’s he’s younger right and he’s like Okay, so I understand that it took you that long.

00:15:44.070 –> 00:15:48.450
Steve Werner: If somebody wanted to do this in three to five months, what would you tell them to do.

00:15:50.730 –> 00:15:53.190
Steve Werner: And I I looked at the guy and I said, like.

00:15:53.430 –> 00:15:57.510
Steve Werner: i’m just gonna be real honest I don’t think you understood, a word that I said in this interview.

00:15:57.810 –> 00:16:04.140
Steve Werner: there’s it’s not maybe one out of 10,000 what happens to people that try to.

00:16:04.170 –> 00:16:07.830
Steve Werner: run a marathon as a sprint is they burn out in the first mile.

00:16:08.550 –> 00:16:08.940

00:16:10.170 –> 00:16:22.260
Steve Werner: it’s I hope everybody hears this, because what you said, I mean you’ve set it up twice now first one was with your networking meeting the second one was with toastmasters that’s what’s allowed you to find success what everybody just defined success.

00:16:22.260 –> 00:16:28.470
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah and if we you know if we switch gears for a second talk without from a marketing standpoint I talked about this in the book about this heart.

00:16:28.710 –> 00:16:39.480
Monica Parkin, Author: hunter versus farmer mentality right, so the hunter is that brand new salesman i’m going to go on and on and get the deals I eat tonight i’m like who cares about the long term, like I just got to hit these goals today.

00:16:39.900 –> 00:16:45.030
Monica Parkin, Author: Where and they do really well in the beginning, right, but then, after two or three years, all of a sudden, like there’s.

00:16:45.420 –> 00:16:55.710
Monica Parkin, Author: Like if they are a fox there’s no more hen houses to rate right like they’ve been every family member every friend there’s no more market left and they don’t have those repeat buyers coming in, because they were sprinting right there we’re trying to.

00:16:56.160 –> 00:17:05.190
Monica Parkin, Author: get straight to the finish line, whereas you know the farmer mentality is that person goes out and plant seeds and grows relationships and it’s this real slow slow climb.

00:17:05.610 –> 00:17:14.130
Monica Parkin, Author: But 810 15 years from now, like they’re not even working they just get up in the morning and harvest crops and their phone rings and there’s a deal and there’s another deal because they’ve just.

00:17:14.730 –> 00:17:19.560
Monica Parkin, Author: cultivated this stuff slowly over time and had to slow steady growth, but it.

00:17:19.890 –> 00:17:30.780
Monica Parkin, Author: It just continues to grow, where is that sprint like you say you just you run out of breath you’re running into energy and you’re done and and they see these people come into the industry do super well and then fizzle and disappear right.

00:17:31.620 –> 00:17:34.110
Steve Werner: yeah that’s I mean is exactly.

00:17:34.980 –> 00:17:42.450
Steve Werner: The difference and i’m not saying you can’t take there are always things that you can learn and grow and do things a little faster and like figure out.

00:17:42.720 –> 00:17:54.270
Steve Werner: A morning routine figure out ways to get better at what you do, but there is no shortcut to success, it is work it is relationships and it is that constant day in, day out.

00:17:54.270 –> 00:17:56.640
Steve Werner: Building so let’s talk a little bit about the book.

00:17:56.940 –> 00:18:01.800
Steve Werner: What do you dive into in the book to help people overcome their awkwardness.

00:18:03.000 –> 00:18:06.660
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah well, a lot of the stuff that we’re talking about right now I guess.

00:18:07.110 –> 00:18:13.020
Monica Parkin, Author: Definitely, that being vulnerable being authentic and one thing that you know when you look at studies about introverts.

00:18:13.320 –> 00:18:23.100
Monica Parkin, Author: One thing, where they really thrive, is this ability to really listen deeply and to solve complex problems right and not to say that extroverts don’t solve complex problems and they don’t listen deeply but.

00:18:23.910 –> 00:18:32.280
Monica Parkin, Author: introverts are always comfortable talking about themselves and it’s perceived as a bad thing, but I don’t think it’s actually a bad thing that ability to sit and listen and ask deep questions.

00:18:33.480 –> 00:18:41.040
Monica Parkin, Author: And and really you know, be able to connect to other people with other people, so now, when I go to an event right like now, if I go to that Chamber meeting.

00:18:41.310 –> 00:18:51.120
Monica Parkin, Author: i’m not walking around handing out cards talking about how I can offer the best rate, I might tell me about your business like what inspired you, what do you need who can I connect you to right like.

00:18:51.660 –> 00:18:58.800
Monica Parkin, Author: Maybe Joe owns a is a food blogger and Mary has a food business like hey Maybe I should introduce you to.

00:18:59.640 –> 00:19:13.410
Monica Parkin, Author: So that you’re actually connecting other people and you’re not doing it expecting something in return, but reciprocity, you know it just works this magic and whether you intended to get something out of it or not, usually some flows back to you out of that later.

00:19:14.430 –> 00:19:15.180
Monica Parkin, Author: that’s me.

00:19:15.960 –> 00:19:19.050
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah let’s stop for a minute there sorry I didn’t wanna.

00:19:20.610 –> 00:19:24.360
Steve Werner: Know you’re you’re fine I mean that is one of the biggest things like helping.

00:19:24.360 –> 00:19:25.170
Steve Werner: Other people.

00:19:25.830 –> 00:19:33.480
Steve Werner: Especially when you’re networking it we’ve all been on a networking thing in the last six months right you jump on zoom and you get like.

00:19:33.510 –> 00:19:35.010
Steve Werner: Two minutes you can talk about yourself.

00:19:35.250 –> 00:19:44.250
Steve Werner: And there’s 90% of the people talk about themselves for longer than the time period and when they’re done, you have no idea what they said because they literally just.

00:19:44.250 –> 00:19:44.700
Steve Werner: like that.

00:19:44.850 –> 00:19:53.490
Steve Werner: Like word vomit it’s like, if you would slow down say two sentences about who you are, but then either ask about the other person.

00:19:53.520 –> 00:19:58.140
Steve Werner: or talk about something that’s important to you that’s memorable that forms a connection.

00:19:58.530 –> 00:20:04.350
Steve Werner: Because the know like trust is the biggest thing anything in the world, right now is free on YouTube free on Google.

00:20:04.770 –> 00:20:13.590
Steve Werner: All all you have to do is search for it, but if, instead, what are, what are we all looking for we’re looking for that human connection somebody we know like and trust, if you have that.

00:20:13.950 –> 00:20:15.450
Steve Werner: Business will come to you.

00:20:15.570 –> 00:20:19.320
Steve Werner: And you build that by being somebody who’s more interested in other people.

00:20:20.070 –> 00:20:20.400
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah.

00:20:20.460 –> 00:20:21.210
Steve Werner: that’s what I heard.

00:20:21.750 –> 00:20:24.930
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah and people notice people who noticed them right so.

00:20:25.260 –> 00:20:31.320
Monica Parkin, Author: I don’t know about you, but if someone leaves me an amazing review or they write me a note and say hey I loved your book or you did a great job for me.

00:20:31.560 –> 00:20:38.100
Monica Parkin, Author: I will go to the ends of the earth to do good stuff for them like I just noticed them because i’m on their radar right so.

00:20:38.430 –> 00:20:47.460
Monica Parkin, Author: For me in the beginning it was as simple as actually just noticing other people like I give this example where I went to this food truck one day and the food was amazing so I went home and left this great review.

00:20:47.850 –> 00:20:49.830
Monica Parkin, Author: I went back a week later, and the guys like.

00:20:50.220 –> 00:20:59.580
Monica Parkin, Author: I saw your review it was so awesome thanks so much two weeks later he’s coming to see me first mortgage, not because I asked for his business, not because I even told him I was a mortgage broker.

00:20:59.850 –> 00:21:11.790
Monica Parkin, Author: Because I noticed him and people notice people that notice them right talking about yourself, no one cares about you, but people notice when you notice them now they don’t cares about you, but you know what I mean like that’s.

00:21:11.910 –> 00:21:17.580
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah don’t be the loudest voice in the room, be the quietest voice in the room, but the one that makes a deep connection that pays attention.

00:21:18.810 –> 00:21:28.950
Steve Werner: I love it tell us a little bit more I know the book is on audible, but I want to know how you came to actually write the book like what what made you sit down and be like I need to write this book.

00:21:29.490 –> 00:21:38.130
Monica Parkin, Author: Okay well if that’s the story in itself, but so, as you know, I am i’m a speaker so i’m always doing these little speeches and every time i’d finished like a five minute speech up like.

00:21:38.520 –> 00:21:43.020
Monica Parkin, Author: A good book Chapter I should write a book some time, but I could never like get the momentum and get it going.

00:21:43.320 –> 00:21:49.170
Monica Parkin, Author: So i’m laying in bed one Saturday morning scrolling through Facebook and I see this thing for 30 days book writing challenge.

00:21:49.710 –> 00:21:57.360
Monica Parkin, Author: And i’ve got some pretty significant ADHD like I can’t I have a hard time sticking your project for a long time, and I was like 30 days like.

00:21:57.720 –> 00:22:03.720
Monica Parkin, Author: I could dig into something for 30 days and not get bored and it was like 100 bucks and so i’m like boxes.

00:22:04.140 –> 00:22:13.260
Monica Parkin, Author: Just enough money that I don’t want to throw it away but not so much money that it’s unattainable, so I signed up for it and literally every day they send you a little like the first day is.

00:22:13.890 –> 00:22:21.390
Monica Parkin, Author: come up with like what’s The thing that you know that you know about that you can share with others, how do you want to impact people day two was write an outline and then.

00:22:21.780 –> 00:22:25.470
Monica Parkin, Author: You know, and then every day they send me a new assignment, the end of 30 days i’m like wow.

00:22:26.070 –> 00:22:35.580
Monica Parkin, Author: i’ve got a book This is great, and then I just send it off to an editor she you know cleaned it up took my 10 chapters and shorten them and made them into 20 and move things around and.

00:22:35.910 –> 00:22:46.620
Monica Parkin, Author: Get that was in April of this year and November the the book came out so it was super fast, and I think it needed to be fast, because if i’d made it a long term project, it would have just got shelved somewhere.

00:22:47.400 –> 00:22:59.370
Steve Werner: I love it I love that story so much um you went and did it you took action and you took a baby step every day and just so you know you don’t have ADHD you have what’s called entrepreneurship.

00:23:00.930 –> 00:23:07.080
Monica Parkin, Author: I get a star using that word i’ve got it i’ve been hit the entrepreneurship viral yes yeah.

00:23:07.200 –> 00:23:15.600
Monica Parkin, Author: And then, of course, pandemics, so I was working from home, so I didn’t have half an hour to commute every morning and evening, so I use that half an hour to just plug away at this sucker yeah.

00:23:15.960 –> 00:23:27.780
Steve Werner: Well that’s so i’ve written i’ve written four books and it same different I didn’t do a challenge, but just 30 to 45 minutes, a day of I am going to sit down and write, even if it’s junk.

00:23:28.440 –> 00:23:33.900
Steve Werner: And i’m not a great writer I would sometimes dictate it and then go back and clean it up, but just getting the words.

00:23:33.960 –> 00:23:34.410
Steve Werner: On.

00:23:34.440 –> 00:23:44.010
Steve Werner: The page if you’re thinking about writing a book and you’re listening to this, I I don’t know if you want to share the challenge, but that was, I mean that sounds like a great challenge.

00:23:44.400 –> 00:23:45.540
Steve Werner: A little bit each day.

00:23:45.930 –> 00:23:54.480
Steve Werner: it’s the same man, you have like this ongoing thread through your entire life of baby steps like what can I find to just take a small action to move forward, I love it.

00:23:55.260 –> 00:24:04.920
Monica Parkin, Author: And I, and I will say I love change, I could try as my family crazy, because every couple months it’s like oh new idea, a new idea like I just I thrive on change and information.

00:24:06.570 –> 00:24:12.600
Monica Parkin, Author: And I can’t remember the name of that 30 day challenge, but if you want me to try and find it, you can put it in the show notes, but.

00:24:14.040 –> 00:24:22.650
Monica Parkin, Author: I like completely lost my train of thought i’m sorry that’s Okay, I wanted to say that I was also so some of my book, I wrote and others have I did, like you, I just I was on my way to.

00:24:22.710 –> 00:24:27.270
Monica Parkin, Author: drop the kids off at school and I thought would pop into my head, so I just hit the record button on my phone.

00:24:27.660 –> 00:24:39.720
Monica Parkin, Author: recorded and then run it through a transcription software later, you know, and then it probably took longer to edit than it did to write because, like you say you just verbally vomiting up ideas and then going back later and and rearranging them and making them smooth.

00:24:40.530 –> 00:24:47.130
Steve Werner: That is that is awesome, and now it is the number one on audible which I love, did you read it on audible.

00:24:47.640 –> 00:24:51.450
Monica Parkin, Author: A number one new release so not the number one but number one new release in this.

00:24:51.930 –> 00:25:04.920
Monica Parkin, Author: category and I read it myself, and then I had listened to it twice, so now i’m like I never listened to it ever again but i’m told it sounds pretty good, so I don’t know you’ll have to check it out and find out for yourself.

00:25:05.760 –> 00:25:13.080
Steve Werner: I love it I love it so much and the name of the book, one more time, if you are going to go find this is called overcome awkward and introverts.

00:25:13.110 –> 00:25:24.090
Steve Werner: guide to networking, we are with Monica parking Monica Thank you so much, I have one last question for you we’ve covered a lot of stuff, but what is.

00:25:24.180 –> 00:25:25.920
Steve Werner: One thing that you hear.

00:25:26.340 –> 00:25:34.200
Steve Werner: All the time about networking that you think is absolute garbage people may be touted around the water cooler or they hold it up on a.

00:25:34.200 –> 00:25:39.030
Steve Werner: pedestal but you know that it is the wrong thing what is something that you would like to set right.

00:25:39.150 –> 00:25:40.110
Steve Werner: In the world do networking.

00:25:40.620 –> 00:25:48.870
Monica Parkin, Author: yeah I think and i’m going to repeat myself and go back to that first piece, but it’s not walking around shaking hands hand out cards telling people what you can offer.

00:25:49.170 –> 00:25:55.110
Monica Parkin, Author: I think that is the worst thing you can do I think it’s really about those authentic connections and and.

00:25:55.560 –> 00:26:02.340
Monica Parkin, Author: And that fear of being vulnerable to right people say don’t put your real self out there you got to act like you’ve got it all made at the beginning, well.

00:26:02.910 –> 00:26:12.570
Monica Parkin, Author: People don’t relate to people that have it all necessarily not that you shouldn’t have it all, but you know even the best leaders will be a little bit vulnerable sometimes and and that’s really where the magic happens.

00:26:14.130 –> 00:26:23.310
Steve Werner: I agree, you could not, I could not have said it better Monica Thank you so much for being an amazing guests guys make sure you check out the show notes, we will have a link to her book.

00:26:23.520 –> 00:26:28.590
Steve Werner: If we can find the hundred day author challenge, it will be down there as well, some random person is going to get some.

00:26:28.800 –> 00:26:29.970
Steve Werner: Some subs from that.

00:26:31.500 –> 00:26:39.630
Monica Parkin, Author: I think it was joshua sprague it just came to me, I think that that’s the name of the guy that runs the 100 day writing challenge joshua sprague but i’ll send it to you for the show notes.

00:26:40.170 –> 00:26:44.310
Steve Werner: Okay awesome to everybody else out there until next time.

00:26:44.370 –> 00:26:45.180
Steve Werner: Take action.

00:26:45.270 –> 00:26:47.730
Steve Werner: Change lives and make money we’ll see you soon.


Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on reddit