Elizabeth Knittel: Discovering True Self Care And Using It To Overcome an 18 Year Eating Disorder.
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Steve Werner: Welcome back to grow your impact income and influence, today we are going to be focusing on impact.
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Steve Werner: This is the number one show for reaching millions of people and changing the world and impacting them is definitely one of them today I am with a women’s coach who helps women develop their identity, be on the struggles that they’ve had Elizabeth welcome to the show how are you doing.
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elizabeth Knittel: hey i’m doing great i’m so excited to be here.
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Steve Werner: Thanks um so talk to me a little bit, I know, like right now, you work with the women that you coach and you help them develop their lives be on the past identities.
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Steve Werner: The problems, the challenges that they’ve overcome, but you didn’t always do this, you didn’t start off here where did things start for you.
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elizabeth Knittel: Well, absolutely not well i’m.
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elizabeth Knittel: Here so many places, I could start but, really, I will start with my struggle and, for me, I went through 18 years of battling food addictions, I was bulimic and alcohol addictions, I was an alcoholic and an alcoholic I mean just in recovery and.
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elizabeth Knittel: Now, was a really long dark path where I really had a hard time seeing the other side and getting out of it and.
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elizabeth Knittel: There about 10 years I struggled with my eating disorder and it really messed up so many relationships and so much of my life.
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elizabeth Knittel: It wasn’t like just something I dabbled in it was, like all in, and it was messy and.
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elizabeth Knittel: And it got pretty bad, but then, when I was 27.
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elizabeth Knittel: I had my first white light moment really spiritual awakening, if you will, I was in my car and I didn’t know if I was pregnant or not like.
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elizabeth Knittel: The sticks out, I was pregnant the doctor was saying that there was no heartbeat into I was really in this really uncomfortable place well as soon as I thought I was pregnant, the desire to drink alcohol left my body and.
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elizabeth Knittel: My body started to feel like it didn’t necessarily belong to me like it was had a greater purpose and.
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elizabeth Knittel: And, but I had this time period of time, where I didn’t know if I spring it or not, and unfortunately at the time the way that I kind of relieve stress was dimension verb so I went and got a bunch of bench food and had it beside me, and I had started to eat it and.
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elizabeth Knittel: And then, all of a sudden this white light literally like came into my car, I was in school for aesthetics in my head scrubs on.
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elizabeth Knittel: The show remember it went through my body, and it was very warm and and fast in it and I heard those with you don’t have to live like this anymore.
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elizabeth Knittel: And and and I got really, really, peaceful and and I felt this obsession that had been there ruling my life really for 10 years leave my body and.
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elizabeth Knittel: It was the craziest thing i’ve ever experienced I.
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elizabeth Knittel: But I ended up throwing away all the bench good keeping down what I had in consumed, and which was miracle and.
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elizabeth Knittel: That obsession was gone and I had prayed and prayed and you know all the and just asked, please like take this like Why am I, like this, and I would ask that why why why me why and it.
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elizabeth Knittel: You know, at the time, like it really didn’t matter why me today I know the answer is so that I could help to change so many other lives, but my struggle with alcohol was messy and I wouldn’t have periods of sobriety and periods of just being a hot mess really and.
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elizabeth Knittel: And then, finally, the thing about alcohol is it really takes you down like it really demoralises your character if you’re an alcoholic and.
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elizabeth Knittel: And the way that I drank it just didn’t drink like normal people whatever normal is right when everybody else would go home and go to bed, I would go home and keep drinking and.
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elizabeth Knittel: So it got to the point where I literally like lost everything and.
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elizabeth Knittel: That was a really terrifying and.
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elizabeth Knittel: I sold my minivan and my kids went to my ex husband and I ended up getting divorced like divorce papers and.
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elizabeth Knittel: Going putting myself through rehab and waking up every day was such a struggle, because I felt like I had done this i’ve gotten myself there, I was away from my children and I didn’t know how I could even.
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elizabeth Knittel: breathe like I, and I kept waking up every day right, and so I would just lay there at night with.
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elizabeth Knittel: Myself and dad and just say this ready to be fair, over and over and just be like okay was in the past in the past, what can I.
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elizabeth Knittel: Control myself can’t control any other nouns other people places things or ideas.
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elizabeth Knittel: And what can I, you know, and there was another difference don’t get stuck in my past just keep moving forward and the days kept occurring, and so I kept learning and I was really open.
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elizabeth Knittel: I became very open to the change and when there, of course, was a lot of times that I didn’t want to be there, I just wanted to be with my kids and it was really hard, but I would just pray that I wanted to want to be there and.
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elizabeth Knittel: In a very spiritual person today and I really believe the ask is given, and it might not be given to you in your time or in the way that you know you imagine that it’s going to look, but it will be given to you and so.
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elizabeth Knittel: Time just kept going by and I kept getting healthier and healthier and healthier and it was became easy to leave the substances behind and, in doing that I became very involved and.
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elizabeth Knittel: i’m changing my life through 12 step programs which i’m so grateful for today.
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elizabeth Knittel: And then, after that period of getting sober and learning to live sober.
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elizabeth Knittel: I kind of hit this point where it was like Okay, but what’s next like what else is out there, I didn’t just get silver to.
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elizabeth Knittel: live in Tulsa just you know only do that just to be live sober like life is huge, there is so much abundance there’s so much beauty to life, like what what else is there, and so I am really big on mentors and i’d had so many mentors and that was when I started to.
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elizabeth Knittel: I also have had my own business, since 2013 i’ve been an aesthetician and my first work mentor asked me to come work with her.
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elizabeth Knittel: But she said I don’t want you to work for me, I want you to work next beside me, and I want to teach you how to have your own business, so in 2013 I became an entrepreneur, which was something that I hadn’t really dreamt of but today I can’t imagine being anything else if that makes sense.
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Steve Werner: yeah absolutely so I want to unpack some of what you said, so I mean you struggled right and like you have, I think we’ve all had struggles, but not necessarily the same you’re like you were in a pretty dark place but one you had.
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Steve Werner: An outside event trigger that your entire life can be different right.
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Steve Werner: But from that moment, you still have to take responsibility, you had.
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Steve Werner: Food down here to put the alcohol down, you had to go day by day.
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Steve Werner: I think one of I mean I worked on a crisis hotline way back in college and one of the things that we saw a lot was people would relapse because they got bored in recovery.
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Steve Werner: Like they don’t know how what’s next so for you, you specifically have that question as days turn into weeks turn into months and you started your path on recovery.
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Steve Werner: You asked yourself what was next, and you became an entrepreneur out of that you started your own business.
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Steve Werner: And now you help other women do the same thing so it’s not about just getting them over what what their challenges are their addiction is but it’s what comes next, how do you build a new identity so am I understand that correctly.
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elizabeth Knittel: Yes, 100% right because that I mean that’s what it was like what what else is out there, like and.
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elizabeth Knittel: When I was in a dark such dark places I never thought about a five year plan like are you kidding me I was just trying to make it through the day.
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elizabeth Knittel: And then getting sober I was just trying to make it through the day but I started working with the LIFE coach and she dared me to drain and asked what my biggest strengths were and.
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elizabeth Knittel: It felt like.
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elizabeth Knittel: For the first time I was allowed to play and and dream and imagine, and it was like these gates were opened in my mind that I had just sealed shot and I realized that so many of my dreams that i’d had as a child were still my dreams.
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elizabeth Knittel: They just weren’t going to look different than than I imagined that they were still my my dreams so.
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elizabeth Knittel: That is really one of the places that I start working with my clients because everybody has dreams and their unique and customized and personal to every single person, you know.
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elizabeth Knittel: that’s the the beauty of really getting to know people and one of the principles of my working with people is that if you work with me, you will feel seen and love in her I don’t work in huge massive groups where it’s just pages of zoom you know where you feel like you’re just like.
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Steve Werner: number.
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elizabeth Knittel: Right, I personally get to know and really support and trust and push and love on every single client as the individual that they are because I think that’s really important.
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Steve Werner: that’s I mean that is important, especially when you’re helping them live their dreams, so I want to dive into that piece a little bit, because I think so many people would say, well, I have dreams, or I had dreams, but they’re not realistic or there.
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Steve Werner: I haven’t got there by now, why should I believe in them, so what are some of the things first off that you see a lot of these women struggling with, and what are some of the tools that you give them to help them dream again and to move forward with them.
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elizabeth Knittel: So.
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elizabeth Knittel: The first thing that.
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elizabeth Knittel: You really have to have you have to believe, and so, if you don’t believe in yourself and love yourself and accept yourself, just as you are right in that moment that’s really where we start because.
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elizabeth Knittel: You have to have that baseline and that love and that trust in yourself.
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elizabeth Knittel: and have self care practices that you do, because we have so many subliminal messages, so we have between 12 and 90,000 subliminal messages that come and tell us stories.
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elizabeth Knittel: And our thoughts create our beliefs that create our actions every single day will.
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elizabeth Knittel: If you’ve been through trauma, then a lot of times those beliefs are really negative and they’re really tearing you up from the inside, so we work on retraining our brain and retraining our thought patterns, so that we can get behind the belief that our dream is available to us.
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Steve Werner: Okay, so that’s huge there’s there are two things that I want to touch on one you said when we were talking a little earlier like.
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Steve Werner: You can own the only noun that you can control is you right like you have to take responsibility for what you do, which have more than 200 interviews.
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Steve Werner: Every successful entrepreneur has that belief that if it’s going to be it’s up to me, I am responsible for everything that happens to me.
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Steve Werner: And i’m going to be the one to make the change so that’s, the first thing, but the second one, and what you’re talking about.
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Steve Werner: is changing our self talk changing the way the conversations in our heads the stories that we tell ourselves i’m big believer in.
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Steve Werner: I mean I teach people to tell stories on stage, so the.
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Steve Werner: But the stories that we tell ourselves are the ones that become real for us So how do you help somebody, what are the tools that you use like I want to get into the nitty gritty tactics like.
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Steve Werner: what’s something that you have a client do to reprogram because I think so many people can resonate like I mean I can, I can tell you this morning right, I was running behind.
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Steve Werner: I got out of bed on time, but for some reason my workout took 10 minutes longer, and the first thing was like and fucking behind and.
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Steve Werner: I was like no no it’s fine everything happens for a reason it’s going to be just fine i’m going to make it to work on time it’s not a big deal like just roll with it right, and then the story like a story that I tell myself anytime something like that happens is.
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Steve Werner: Whatever, this is it, I will find a way to turn this into a positive that’s like the one line story.
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elizabeth Knittel: guys all solution, I mean that’s the that’s the thing like, no matter what the problem, there is always a solution, you might have to go do some you know course correcting.
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elizabeth Knittel: But, but there is always a solution and I think once I realized that then it was everything just became easier because it there, there really is always a solution.
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elizabeth Knittel: But the first thing is, you have to realize, you have to recognize that you’re telling yourself these stories you’ve to catch them because there’s some bloomin all most of the time, and so we don’t even realize that we’re aware of them, but.
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elizabeth Knittel: They come out of us in the words that we say, because what you think it’s ultimately is is what you are and as hard as people try, nobody can walk around pretending to be something that they’re not and and really uphold that 24 seven and authenticity is really huge deal for me.
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elizabeth Knittel: i’m completely transparent I don’t have secrets.
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elizabeth Knittel: I I am who I am all the time, so um.
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elizabeth Knittel: But so we work I do a lot of journaling, but we also do work because not journaling isn’t for everybody, so in writing things out.
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elizabeth Knittel: I have people start with gratitude list because when you come from a place of gratitude you’re coming from a place of abundance.
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elizabeth Knittel: And literally there were times when I was stripped of everything, but I had a roof over my head a cup of coffee in front of me I had you know, a bed to sleep in and so that was my gratitude list and also.
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elizabeth Knittel: Just being grateful for things even the things that seem unfair or you know, like.
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elizabeth Knittel: I had to become really grateful that my ex husband was such a great father and that love the children so much, and that was a hard.
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elizabeth Knittel: thing, but when I did that my whole being around the situation was really softened to a place of love, because you can really only grow and manifest.
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elizabeth Knittel: When you’re in a place of alignment, so we start with gratitude list which the key with gratitude is to switch it up, because if you are doing gratitude.
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elizabeth Knittel: on a regular basis, and you always have the same few things they lose their magic they lose the power to really raise your frequency and to.
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elizabeth Knittel: raise up to make you that joyful happy person that is full of gratitude, so you have to switch to that, then I go to affirmations.
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elizabeth Knittel: And I have so many affirmations they give my clients and for clients that have a hard time accepting compliments when I will do is have them take a compliment they’ve been given.
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elizabeth Knittel: and use that as their affirmation, because if somebody gives you a compliment and they’ve really thought about it, you know, like if they.
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elizabeth Knittel: Like your shoes and they tell you they like your shoes or your hair or whatever it is your smile or.
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elizabeth Knittel: That you made a difference, like they went out of their way to tell you that and for people just to push it aside and not be able to accept it.
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elizabeth Knittel: Is it’s really rude actually and so teaching people how to accept compliments and take them and have them as their truth, this is part of that changing the way that you’re thinking.
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elizabeth Knittel: And then I go to your future gratitude, so this is a morning ritual, so we start with creating rituals and embodying the person that you want to become.
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elizabeth Knittel: So the future gratitude or manifestations or that’s where your dreams go, so you pick a couple things that you want to work on first.
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elizabeth Knittel: Of we do a list of everything, like all of your desires all of your dreams everything that you want and.
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elizabeth Knittel: See pick on what you want to work on first and write it in the form of gratitude like.
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elizabeth Knittel: I am so grateful that I make 10 payments every month, I am so grateful that I have such a huge impact on women and and helping them ship their lives, like those are things that I would write when I was getting into coaching.
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elizabeth Knittel: And then and I liked them to keep it in a notebook because it’s amazing when you do the work how quickly your grandma your future gratitude become your gratitude list.
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elizabeth Knittel: So.
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elizabeth Knittel: You can measure your progress, so you can see times with life coaching it’s sort of hard to measure your progress because.
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elizabeth Knittel: Just like when you’re watching a baby draw a child bro like if you’re there every day you don’t see the change, and so, if you’re with you every day you don’t see the change, but if you have something written in front of you, you can flip back and.
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elizabeth Knittel: you’re emotionally can feel what you’re feeling at that point we think oh my gosh Look how far i’ve come so.
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elizabeth Knittel: When you’re doing all these things you’re rewriting your story.
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elizabeth Knittel: Right another thing that I have clients do that, I do myself, and I also I would never ask a client to do something that I haven’t done or wouldn’t do myself.
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Steve Werner: or in that didn’t yeah go ahead.
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elizabeth Knittel: um another thing that works really is mirror work so getting really close to a mirror where you can actually feel your own energy and looking at yourself like connecting to yourself.
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elizabeth Knittel: and showing yourself love.
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elizabeth Knittel: start with things like I love you and.
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elizabeth Knittel: Whatever this person your higher self and bodies you start saying these things, please I complete projects that I start, I am you know or just trying to think you know, like I belong here I.
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elizabeth Knittel: You know, like.
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Steve Werner: you’re talking about things to rewrite your story like pick it’s more than affirmations is actually things that you want to believe about yourself.
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Steve Werner: And starting to push into them that’s I mean it’s does definitely a powerful process on there was a book.
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Steve Werner: Trying to remember what it was off the top of my head, but it was written by a venture capitalist who was suicidal.
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Steve Werner: Because he, although he made a lot of money he hated who he had become and the one practice that he started was just a love you.
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Steve Werner: Every day in the mirror for 60 seconds I love you, you are enough.
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Steve Werner: Just the way you are and just like saying that repeatedly and then they did a brain study on it to show that it actually did change his beliefs um so I just want to recap kind of what you have told us so far, because there’s you gave a whole bunch of things in there, but generally.
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Steve Werner: There well there’s a ton right but I mean the things that you’ve given us having a gratitude practice and a future gratitude practice I can speak to myself, like.
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Steve Werner: The difference between like a vision board where you see something right, this is this was my experience early on, with vision boards I would put stuff up.
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Steve Werner: And then, when I when I don’t have patience to like I want things to start happening, and then they wouldn’t happen out would become frustrated.
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Steve Werner: And at the time the coach that I was working with said.
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Steve Werner: Just be positive, like instead of being positive it’s going to happen, think about how grateful, you will be when it does happen, instead of it, you don’t have it right now.
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Steve Werner: And that pushes it and exactly what you said before you know it those things come to happen you’re like oh man, this is awesome.
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Steve Werner: Because you’re feeling positive about it, instead of I don’t have you’re not feeling the lack right and.
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Steve Werner: I found that to be really powerful, I think that in the mirror work is a great place to start, let me ask you a different question.
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Steve Werner: When you work with somebody what is a place that they struggle to implement what you tell them, but you tell them like hey you should be doing this and they struggle with it what’s something that you would help them with like, how would they get over that kind of walk us through that.
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elizabeth Knittel: Well, that when I when I start working with women it’s amazing when I asked them about their self care.
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elizabeth Knittel: Women will just come hot like stop and they’re like um well, I was gonna like maybe try to get a massage and i’m like, no, no, no.
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elizabeth Knittel: Like do you wake up and brush your teeth.
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elizabeth Knittel: Because that start looking at it like that is you, showing you I love you I love you enough to take care of you to brush your teeth, so you already have that in your back pocket and it’s just that shift in perspective.
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elizabeth Knittel: And, and so, then I do.
00:26:11.700 –> 00:26:23.220
elizabeth Knittel: As an aesthetician bring in my skincare you know and i’m usually will try to get them started on some sort of skincare regimen where they’re doing.
00:26:24.510 –> 00:26:36.120
elizabeth Knittel: These rituals that are physically showing themselves, taking care of themselves in a way that maybe they haven’t before and.
00:26:38.250 –> 00:26:50.250
elizabeth Knittel: You know i’m a big runner i’m not a fitness coach I do encourage my clients to move their bodies, but that the way that they do it is really totally up to them.
00:26:51.660 –> 00:26:56.730
elizabeth Knittel: But I am that accountability person, and so a lot of times.
00:26:58.860 –> 00:27:08.370
elizabeth Knittel: They will not want to tell me that they didn’t do it, whether it’s The self care whether it’s the journaling whether it’s the moving your body.
00:27:10.020 –> 00:27:26.070
elizabeth Knittel: But these like you’re never in trouble if you’re not in trouble it’s that you, I am recommending things that are going to work for your highest good and does the person that you want to become that’s in your vision board.
00:27:27.510 –> 00:27:33.300
elizabeth Knittel: Does she do that does she wake up that she moved her body every day because.
00:27:34.500 –> 00:27:42.300
elizabeth Knittel: That it’s it’s about the the feelings of the few the future version of you.
00:27:42.930 –> 00:27:49.470
elizabeth Knittel: Right, you know there’s nothing you can’t recreate the feeling of after you workout and unless you work out.
00:27:50.760 –> 00:27:51.180
elizabeth Knittel: Right.
00:27:51.210 –> 00:28:02.610
Steve Werner: very true and the I mean the other thing that you’re pointing at directly is, you have to be in integrity, so if I don’t if you if you tell somebody to do something.
00:28:03.150 –> 00:28:12.960
Steve Werner: And they don’t do it and they either lie to you about it directly or they just avoid that they are not being in integrity with themselves and they’re not following through and.
00:28:14.160 –> 00:28:24.210
Steve Werner: I don’t know if you read the will Smith book just came out, but one of the things that he said, which is true as well across almost all the entrepreneurs that i’ve interviewed all the successful people.
00:28:24.540 –> 00:28:37.230
Steve Werner: Keep promises to themselves if they say they’re going to do something they 100% follow through, and this is something I learned probably 2014 one of the coaches, I was working with sat me down and said, like.
00:28:38.220 –> 00:28:50.940
Steve Werner: Stop over committed like stop lying to yourself that you’re going to do 900 things realize that you’re human realize that you can’t do everything and pick one or two things and whatever you pick.
00:28:51.480 –> 00:28:58.260
Steve Werner: force yourself to do so maybe it’s less maybe instead of running a marathon it’s go run around the block twice.
00:28:59.010 –> 00:29:08.010
Steve Werner: Because you can always up the ante, but if you set a huge thing i’m going to go run the Boston marathon and you haven’t run in years or ever.
00:29:08.880 –> 00:29:17.610
Steve Werner: that’s going to be a really hard thing to do and you’re going to beat yourself up here and feel like a failure and you’re going to lie to yourself and other people about it, but if you pick something that’s all.
00:29:17.730 –> 00:29:20.730
elizabeth Knittel: easy to forget it, I won’t do it all.
00:29:21.300 –> 00:29:28.260
Steve Werner: Right exactly and then do you trust yourself, do you feel like you, are somebody that is worthy of like self love.
00:29:28.590 –> 00:29:36.450
Steve Werner: Now, but when you follow through on your commitments and yourself, you start to see that other people start to see that and then your commitments can get a little bit bigger.
00:29:36.750 –> 00:29:44.730
Steve Werner: And then you’re going to actually build the muscle of follow through which is really, really powerful we got I went off on a tangent a little bit, but.
00:29:45.390 –> 00:29:57.930
elizabeth Knittel: yeah I love that so much because that is just that is so huge it is keeping the promises that you make to yourself, so you build that trust within yourself.
00:29:58.620 –> 00:30:10.260
Steve Werner: Absolutely so Elizabeth we’ve covered a huge wide ranging amount of topics if people want to learn more about you, or if they want to find you online where should they go.
00:30:11.580 –> 00:30:42.780
elizabeth Knittel: um so I have a website that is www dot pure love and and beauty calm and then i’m on instagram and my handle there is at run that love that restore and I also have a Facebook group called the inspired and um what is the inspired and abundant feminine collective.
00:30:43.680 –> 00:30:49.530
Steve Werner: Nice, well, we will link all of those in the show notes, so if you want to check those out make sure.
00:30:49.890 –> 00:31:02.700
Steve Werner: To go look her up whether it’s on instagram whether it’s writing or Facebook group or going to our website Elizabeth I just want to say thank you so much for coming on and sharing bits and pieces about your journey and how women can learn to love themselves.
00:31:03.690 –> 00:31:07.110
elizabeth Knittel: Absolutely awesome Thank you so much for having me.
00:31:07.680 –> 00:31:14.730
Steve Werner: No problem it’s my pleasure to everyone else out there until next time take action change lives and make money we’ll see you soon.